You’Ll Love The TV

As has been noted in this space, it can be entertaining to listen to people tell newcomers how to be happy in Spokane.

You know, that’s where the longtime resident strikes a pose and says “You’ve got to take up skiing” or “You’ll want to get a lake place.”

We used to believe that this often unsolicited advice simply reflected the leisure preferences of the speakers. That would make sense, after all.

But we’ve discovered something. Some of those saying “You need to get into camping” don’t actually camp. Mostly, they watch TV.

Still they feel obligated to tell a new arrival that tents and insect-repellent are the keys to happiness.

Only one conclusion is possible. In the Inland Northwest, we’re held hostage by our own lifestyle myths.

Slice answers: “Spokane: Come for the sun, stay for the fun.” — Ann Gillespie

“Spokane: Come for the peace and quiet, stay for the party.” — Brad Moeller

If those sound like submissions from staffers at the Spokane Area Convention & Visitors Bureau, well, it’s because they are.

Hey, they’re nice people over there. But those answers shouldn’t been interpreted as a preview of a new tone for The Slice in ‘99.

Overheard in the videos section at Hastings on the South Hill: “How do they alphabetize these things?” — submitted by a tall auto editor

One of the best people-watching spots in Spokane (and by “people” we really mean “women” but we don’t want to appear sexist): On weekdays at lunchtime, stand somewhere in the vicinity of the Japanese Lunch Box and the Metro Cafe, look east and watch what comes through the skywalk doors.

But you have to promise to be subtle.

Old business/new business: You might recall our last discussion of coming up with a column give-away item to follow Slice T-shirts. Yes, we’re referring to what has come to be known as “Eyecolorgate.”

Well, we’re ready to try again. And as always, we want readers’ input. So call and vote. Which would you rather have?

a. Slice boxers.

b. Slice refrigerator magnet.

c. Slice ballcap.

d. Slice “marital aids.”

e. Slice ballpoint pen.

f. Slice bumper sticker.

g. Slice coffee mug.

h. Slice mouse pad.

i. Slice letter opener.

j. other.

Today’s Slice question: What will be the most popular Inland Northwest baby names in 1999?