Look Deeply Into The Ice Of Children

The music was pretty loud.

And out on the rink, several dozen skaters were doing “The Hokey Pokey” with varying degrees of artistic success.

But the real action at Riverfront Park’s Ice Palace Sunday afternoon was in the tiered rubber-matted area right below the skate-rental window.

That’s where parents were trying to get ice skates on little kids.

Some children dutifully cooperated. They sat down, stuck out a leg when asked to and pushed when told to push.

But others behaved as if they had never encountered footwear and were, in fact, skeptical about the whole thing.

“It’s too tight,” one little girl said approximately .0001 of a second after having a skate slipped over her foot.

“I haven’t even laced it up yet,” her father said.

“It’s too tight,” she repeated.

One woman wearing a gray knit cap appeared to be in charge of a seated flock of kids. Squatting in front of them, she moved from child to child in a sidelong hop. She looked like a member of an Indianapolis 500 pit crew.

One little boy sitting on a top step flopped back in a full reclining position and allowed the skates to be placed on his feet while he did an impression of a lifeless rag.

Another kid tried to fit his bear’s leg into the skate boot being held out before him. (It would have been great if he had pretended the stuffed animal was saying “Too tight, too tight.”)

Mingling with the families about to hit the ice were clusters of returning skaters.

“Kyle, where are your shoes?” a woman with blond hair asked a little boy in a blue jacket.

Kyle looked back at her with an expression suggesting his mind was far, far away. Either that, or he couldn’t comprehend the idea of keeping track of one’s shoes.

A dad in hockey skates spent what must have seemed like a long time bending over and picking up things his little boy dropped. Gloves, coins, candy — this kid couldn’t hold on to anything.

I asked a guy in the skate rental office what size the smallest skates were. “Like a 6,” he said. “Little baby shoes.”

He pointed.

Instead of “6,” the skates in question looked as if they ought to be called “Size 1, extra wide.”

Some of the kids walking on the mats toward the ice surface moved like mountain goats. Others resembled wobbly little astronauts testing the lunar surface.

Houston, we have a problem.

“Sit still,” said a mom trying to get skates on a tiny girl.

But it’s hard to when you’re excited.