‘Varsity Blues’ One Big Fake Play
James Van Der Beek doesn’t play Dawson in “Varsity Blues,” but he hasn’t wandered far from the creek.
As Mox, he’s another do-gooder who is smarter than everyone else. Mox is the quarterback for the highschool team, torn between what he wants and what is expected of him in a small town where the pathetic adults still plan their lives around Friday-night games, to the extent that parents hold their kids back in second grade because it’ll make them one year bigger by the time they reach linebacker age.
If that sounds familiar, it’s probably because you’ve seen “All the Right Moves,” which did a better of job of exploring this particular piece of gridiron, or you’ve read “Friday Night Lights,” the definitive book on the subject.
Blame director Brian Robbins, who piles everything on way too thick. Mox is coached by a Machiavellian play-caller (Jon Voight, yelling) who treats the town like his own fiefdom, belittling everyone, doping up his players and sending one guy on the field even though he’s about to die. Motivations for the coach’s behavior? Never explained.
The script is fake melodrama, but Robbins makes it worse, encouraging the actors to play to the back rows and consistently making the most obvious choices. There’s one African-American on the team, for instance, and his name is Brown. There’s a fat guy on the team, and he’s really funny because, like, being fat is funny (even worse, having made fun of Fatty, the movie gets all self-righteous and pretends to sympathize with his pain).
There’s certainly plenty going on, although you may find it hard to believe in “high schoolers” who are old enough to be ninth-year seniors. Or in the movie’s group-sex/copious-drugs/erotic-whipped-cream/ athletes-are-above-the-law high school, which hosts more psychodrama than any NFL teams.
“Varsity Blues” Locations: North Division, Spokane Valley Mall, Coeur d’Alene Cinemas Credits: Directed by Brian Robbins, Starring James Van Der Beek Running time: 1:41 Rating: R