You Networks Leave The Nfl Officials Alone

This must stop - and I’m not talking about the lousy calls. I’m talking about all the shouting in regard to the lousy calls. Yes, officials sometimes are bad. Announcers usually are worse.

Last Saturday, the overblown Matt Millen - a mini-Madden with a mustache - virtually imploded on Fox after officials ruled that the 49ers’ Terry Kirby had recovered a fumble and was down before the ball popped loose and was taken by the Falcons’ Chuck Smith for a touchdown. Millen called it “a complete farce” and “a pathetic flurry of officiating.”

He concluded, “In a year where the officiating has been so scrutinized and blatantly wrong, this one takes the cake.”

Actually, it appeared the officials might’ve gotten the call right.

But Millen acted is if this was the biggest injustice in America since the Ethel and Julius Rosenberg trial. And at halftime, a maniacal Terry Bradshaw added to the critical avalanche. It was left to fellow Fox analyst Cris Collinsworth to be the sole voice of reason, suggesting that, indeed, the call on the field was the proper one. (Collinsworth can have a Klondike at my place any time he wants.)

The problem, of course, is television. The problem is always television.

I guarantee you there were many, many bad calls during the 1938 season - which largely explains how the New York Giants won the NFL title that year - but nobody knows about them because there was no television.

Today, the controversial call is replayed half-a-dozen times within 5 minutes, then it’s replayed again on the halftime or postgame shows, then it’s replayed that night and all week on ESPN. We become an incensed, electronic lynch mob all because some replay angle shows a guy’s knee touched the ground a nanosecond before he lost the ball.

“SportsCenter” stokes the fire, sports radio spreads it.

We are veering out of control and out of our minds.

Because of television, because of replay, we have changed the focus from the game itself to the game’s officiating. We see too much. In fact, we see so much, we think we see it all. So we sit there and scrutinize every close call. The officials operate in an unforgiving fishbowl, where they’re live bait for a public of piranhas.

What if I sat next to Millen and judged every comment he made the moment after he made it?

Besides, you usually cannot make a beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt conclusion based on TV replays. I was looking at the same videotape as Millen was last week, and I was abundantly unclear which way the call should’ve gone. The best call - the truest call - is the on-the-field, spontaneous judgment of an official.

Hey, I’ll go with Jerry Markbreit over Matt Millen any day of the week, and twice on Sundays.

Most of the time, the officials are right. Once in a while they’re wrong. But in either case, we should simply move on with our lives and take a closer look at national health care, for crying out loud.

The only solution, as I see it, would not be a popular one: Ban replay. I’m not talking about banning replay as an officiating tool, I’m talking about banning ALL television replays. Period. Let’s return to the fundamentals - less analysis, more enjoyment. NO MORE REPLAYS. Bring back the halftime marching bands! NO MORE REPLAYS. Let me put it to you this way: No instant replay, no Jerry Glanville. NO MORE REPLAYS.

We are at a crossroads, my friends. Where does it all end? I mean, why don’t we use computer laser beams to determine first downs rather than having Gus and the chain gang come in with those Eisenhower-Era sticks? We’re ruining a great game. Ladies and gentlemen, the play is the thing. The replay is not.

(Random rant: How come stamps go from 32 to 33 cents and the NFL expands from 30 to 31 teams? The postal service has to stop nickel and diming us, one penny at a time; make stamps 50 cents and get the mail out on time. And the NFL should go to 36 teams, restoring franchises in Cleveland, Los Angeles, Houston, Decatur, Pottsville and Kenosha.)

As always, the following picks against the point spread are for recreational purposes only:

Falcons at Vikings (-11): Here is a stunning, true fact: This will mark the ninth consecutive game the Falcons have played in a dome. The last time the Falcons were outdoors, I believe, Kezar Stadium was the site. If they make it to Miami, they might actually bring winter jackets.

Indeed, there will be a dome team in the Super Bowl for the first time. And though the setting will be tropical South Florida, either the Falcons or Vikings won’t be comfortable. It’s like the plaza vs. the mall. As a kid, I always went to Wheaton Plaza, then they built Montgomery Mall. You could buy Hush Puppies without getting them wet! Dome teams feel the same way - they don’t like shopping outdoors. Pick: Vikings.

Jets at Broncos (-9): The Man is in a tough position: I’ve made my stand against the dirty-low-down Broncos, which forces me to align with the swamp-ridden, diner-laden, turnpike-infested New Jersey juggernaut coached by the media-baiting, donut-eating Tuna Genius. I guess I’ll just watch the game on radio. Pick: Jets.