Maybe Offer Was Too Good To Pass Up

Thu., Jan. 28, 1999

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Responding to a request, a Spokane author cheerfully gave a copy of one of his books to a friend.

In it, the author had jotted a warm personal note to the recipient.

So you could imagine the writer’s surprise when, some time later, he discovered that volume - personalized dedication and all - at a used-book store near his house.

* Favorite warning labels: Readers told about sleeping pills that may cause drowsiness, hair dryers that should not be used while sleeping, auto sun-screens that should be removed before the car is driven, instructions on how to eat a taco, a fan belt that should be installed only after the engine has been turned off, hot fudge that could be hot, a shower cap that fits one head, Christmas lights that were for indoor or outdoor use only, a chainsaw that the user shouldn’t try to stop with his hand and lots of others. Thanks.

* Remarks that made people decide to lose weight: “When is the blessed event?” - S.M.M.

“Oh, are you pregnant again?” - S.L.C.

* Just wondering: Do those who lived through the Depression tend to make paper towels last forever?

* Hog dreams: Larry Poole discovered that a copy of a receipt for a new Harley-Davidson motorcycle had mistakenly been sent to a little-used fax machine at his workplace.

So he called the Spokane H-D dealership and jokingly asked if he could come get the $22,500 bike.

But Poole was too late. The woman who purchased that motorcycle had already picked it up.

* Sandy Tarbox wonders: “Is it true Altoids tins will become a new form of currency after Y2K causes the collapse of civilization?”

* Unscientific survey: Three out of four Inland Northwest house cats wonder why they haven’t been in a National Geographic TV special.

* Coming up with something to give away: To underscore her desire to see The Slice create special refrigerator magnets, Piff Comer sent a picture of her own fridge. Let’s just say she has little room left for any more magnets.

Most responding readers, however, said they would like to see Slice coffee mugs. Slice boxer shorts were the runner-up, followed by Slice letter-openers. Stay tuned.

* Warm-up question: If Idaho and Washington came up with variations of New Hampshire’s license plate motto - “Live Free or Die” - what might these new adages say?

* Today’s Slice question: What evidence do you have that your guardian angel is an underachiever?

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