Meeting In The Middle On Movies

Fri., Oct. 8, 1999

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Here’s how to tell if someone loves you.

Say you’re watching your favorite old movie for the hundredth time. A person who loves you will do one of the following.

Watch with you, occasionally praising the film in perceptive ways.

Leave the room but say, “Call me when it’s time for that one scene.”

Offer to make you a sandwich.

Quote a memorable line from the movie and adjust the room lighting to enhance the viewing experience.

Smile at you and shake his or her head in a way that is so stunningly romantic you pretty much have to be older than 30 to understand why.

On the other hand, a person who does not really love you will, well, that’s too depressing to contemplate. Let’s just skip that.

* If I were made Czar of the Inland Northwest: “I would announce a limit to my term and, to the surprise of all, keep my word,” faxed Patrick McKinney. “And of course, I’d put additional tax on SUVs.”

* Just wondering: Is it possible to introduce two of your close friends without feeling as if their compatibility is a referendum on your worth as a person?

* Three descriptions of Spokane:

“Spokane is a little city desperately trying to grow up.” — Sherry Trowbridge

“There are really two Spokanes; the `Inland Empire’ founded on greed, wealth and aggrandizement by the few, and the other Spokane, a city neither too large nor too small where a family can be raised in a land still generous with the natural and human resources left by the first.” — Michael Mann

“In Spokane one sees the tragedy of the aboriginal tribe, the struggle of the railroad, the establishment of heavy industry and, in particular, the triumph of the common man, who through sweat and strain has fashioned for himself a pleasant life in a pleasant city, and who through perseverance has ensured a prosperous haven for himself and for future generations.” — Luke R. Henderson

* Special request: “My fiance and I are getting married this month and would like our picture in the paper under the wedding announcements. Since many couples use their wedding pictures when announcing their 50th wedding anniversary, can we use our baby pictures in announcing our wedding (if we’re not nude on a bear rug)?” — Faithful Readers

Dear Faithful Readers: No.

* Today’s Slice question: Can you name one example of situations where a majority of Spokane area residents appear to be missing the point entirely?

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