Warning Signs Warn Of Little

Sun., Oct. 10, 1999

D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Revi

B-deet, b-deet. State and federal oh-ficials have agreed on the wording for signs warning people about toxic metals in the Coeur d’Alene River drainage - finally. Only there’s no mention of toxic metals. Or the mining that put the metals there. Just a warning not to eat mud pies (as if we all do) - and some generic phrases that hint there’s something evil lurking in the water and shoreline dirt. Still, the words are a bit stronger than those sought by the local chambers of commerce: “C’mon in, the water’s fine.”

Orthopods vs. MSC? A pox on both houses

Don’t choose up sides in that battle between Spokane’s orthopedic surgeons and MSC/Premera Blue Cross. Both groups of fat cats are looking out for No. 1. And you, Dear Patient, aren’t even in the Top 10 … So, whaddya have if you have a pastor, a newspaper carrier, an ex-hair stylist, a separatist and a blues musician? The Village People? Nope, just your average Sandpoint mayor’s race … Why Ask Why? If the Woman Formerly Known As Helen Chenoweth is so traditional she insists on being called “congressman,” how come she’s now hyphenated? Chenoweth-Hage for Helen? C’mon … (By the way, what happens when two hyphenated names collide in holy matrimony? Whaddya call the offspring?)

Toplessness is not an Idaho family value

City Councilwoman Linda Pall should have Idaho’s topless vote in the bag as she runs for Congress. After all, she helped protect the sisters’ right (her word, not Hot Potatoes’) to bare breasts in Moscow. It’s the other 99 percent of us Potatoheads she’ll have trouble wooing … Fuhgeddabout the Millennium Baby. Buy a Hallmark card for Tuesday’s arrival of World Citizen No. 6 Billion. And don’t worry. The Population Research Institute sez underpopulation is its biggest Y2K concern - not over. Eat your heart out, Paul Ehrlich … French Fries on the Side (or “People who should be jailed just because”): 1. Telemarketers; 2. Attorneys; 3. Bill & Hillary; 4. Rise-and-shiners; and 5. (tie) Politicians and lobbyists … Today’s edition of Hot Potatoes was brought to you by the Number 21, or the number of cents Idahoans pay above the national average price for a gallon of gas. (Don’t laugh, Evergreen Staters, your number is 18.)

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