Flushes Without Blushes Handy Andy Uses Humor To Help Build A Strong And Loyal Customer Base

Mention Handy Andy to anyone on Spokane’s North Side and they’ll know instantly what you mean.

It’s the tiny but colorful kitchen and bath shop on Northwest Boulevard - the one with the signs boasting celebrity toilet bowls and clever window displays using life-sized Marilyns and James Deans. The building itself is a bright bouquet of colors.

Handy Andy Plumbing and Remodeling owner Rick Schirman is just about as colorful.

Equipped with the tools of hard work and humor, Schirman has served a few thousand customers in Spokane for more than two decades.

“There isn’t a block in town I haven’t worked on,” he said.

Schirman says he probably spends more time in the bathroom than anyone else in town.

“We meet in their bathrooms,” he said of his customers who often call him to quote costs on plumbing or remodeling projects.

The bathroom meetings can be awkward since it is a rather intimate place and, really, there are so few spots to sit down, Schirman said.

But some of his customers are comfortable enough to perch on their commodes while describing to the contractor what changes they’d like. “Sometimes people do their best thinking there,” Schirman said, his face straight but his blue eyes brimming with laughter.

Walk in the door at Handy Andy and you’ll likely be greeted by the store manager, an energetic 2-year-old Jack Russell terrier named Conner.

The front of the small building is occupied with work stations, phones, radios and computers where Schirman keeps a database of his customers, the jobs he’s done and the locations of the homes’ water and power shut-offs.

The back is a treasure trove of paint samples, tiles, laminates, fixtures and catalogs boasting names like Kohler, Moen, St. Thomas and Wilsonart.

With the help of 12 associates specializing in laying tile and linoleum, plumbing and carpentry, the focus of the business is kitchens, baths and small jobs.

“We will come out and change your porch light if you want it,” Schirman said.

Handy Andy also is a retailer, procuring cabinets, countertops, tile, windows and linoleum.

The chief handyman considers himself, and the people who work for him “artists.” “They are people that are very talented in their trades,” he said.

The 53-year-old carpenter started by doing odd jobs out of the back of his truck. Among his equipment was a tool kit bearing the Handy Andy logo.

One of his customers saw it and proclaimed the contractor “Handy Andy.” “I said, `yup that’s me,”’ Schirman said. The name stuck.

So did the job.

“I just liked this kind of work,” Schirman said. “It was less stressful than other kinds.”

Even so, Schirman says his customers are the most difficult in Spokane.

“They want it their way and when they want it,” he said, adding his clientele is largely made up of women between 55 and 80.

“Older gals are tough customers,” he said. “Everything’s got to be perfect.”

Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of professionalism in the business, Schirman said. By meeting the ladies’ expectations, he’s managed to keep customers for life. He’s also found a niche with relatively little competition.

“I work hard at doing good work,” Schirman said. “And I work hard at keeping good people.”

Some workers, though, don’t like all of Schirman’s demands.

“I ask my employees to do unusual things,” he said. That’s as simple as hanging curtains for a customer, and sometimes as complex as donning a costume and standing at the busy corner of Northwest Boulevard and Maple to wave at traffic.

“One man quit because I asked him to be a bunny,” he said.

Schirman’s fame goes beyond his customers to the fans of the signs he hangs in the front of the small building housing his showroom.

Some of his favorites are the “Tile Man Sings Danny Boy,” and “Person Inside Can Wiggle Nose.” He also devotes his energies into creating window displays such as Elvis’ Water Heater and - the not-so-popular - “Monica’s Actual Black Toilet”.

“I spent a lot of my day apologizing for that one,” he said.

Most recently he’s hung “We are geeks” to advertise Handy Andy’s new Web address, www.handyandy.com.

“I think a lot of people wonder about me and what I sell,” Schirman explained as his reason for going online. “And lately I’ve gotten quite a few jobs from it. It’s like we’re dealing with a whole new market.”

Schirman pretty much takes his business day by day. While he doesn’t have a grand business plan - other than to continue to meet the needs of his customers - Schirman has been thinking about his next storefront sign.

“How about “Too busy with Viagra? Call us.”