Cheap Seats
A man’s gotta eat
Here’s a story to illustrate the difference between this Dream Team and Dream Teams past.
In Atlanta, Reggie Miller ripped the “one-star” room service at the Omni hotel.
In Sydney, Vin Baker is room service.
The SuperSonics forward cooked dinner for 30 the other night at the team hotel in suburban Parramatta, working on the two-eye stove in his room and another next door with an assist from a couple of Weber grills.
“Chicken, ribs, mashed potatoes, pasta,” Baker said. “Half the women’s team ate with us.”
In Barcelona, the original Dream Team stayed at a posh $900-a-night hotel.
In Atlanta, the Omni across from Centennial Park prompted Miller to rate the room service “terrible.”
Mark this down as the Dream Team that is more Embassy Suites than Ritz-Carlton.
Without Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan and Grant Hill, let’s hope they don’t play like an Embassy Suites team.
Sounds like a nice place
Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times, describing Sydney: “Think San Francisco without fog, Toronto without wind chill and Chicago without Vienna Beef and you have Sydney.”
Nothing could be that bad
Former NFL coach Marv Levy, now a Fox Sports commentator, on Kansas City Chiefs coach Gunther Cunningham and his team’s 17-14 overtime loss to the Tennessee Titans:
“Gunther is very intense, and I’m sure the loss hurt a lot, but even when he wins, he looks about as happy as the CEO of Firestone looks right now.”
Tongue twister
From comedy writer Jerry Perisho: “Tim Biakabutuka played Sunday for the Carolina Panthers against the San Francisco 49ers. During the game, he picked up 75 yards, four first downs, three consonants and a vowel.”
That’s Tshimanga Biakabutuka to his friends.
Man, what a headache
From Jay Leno on “The Tonight Show”: “Our best wishes to Troy Aikman - he had to go to the hospital recently for suffering his third concussion in two years. I hope he’s OK. You know what the Cleveland Browns call it when their quarterback gets three concussions? Fourth down.”
He’s got legs
Veteran Chris Mullin was released by the Indiana Pacers on Wednesday, but he wasn’t bitter. Far from it. “If my next stop is as good as this, it will be great,” he said. “My legs are good. I’m 37, but they’re only 36.”
Say what?
During the New York Jets-New England Patriots game Monday night, ABC commentator Dennis Miller alluded to, among other things, the House of Plantagenet.
Said Howard Manly of the Boston Globe: “He might want to host a new game show, `Guess What I’m Talking About.”’
The last word …
“How do you know when you’ve arrived at the Olympics? I wasn’t here 5 minutes before I spotted a Chinese woman who could bench-press me with one arm.”
- Jim Armstrong, in the Denver Post.