Spiritual journey meanders off, on straight path to God
Have you had the frustration of herding a cat? Sue and I have had various cats over 35 years. Gypsy is the latest fickle owner of our hearts. Our normal morning routine usually involves letting her outside after she sleeps anywhere and everywhere in the house.
The other morning, I was particularly aware of her journey from the foot of our bed to the back door. It was anything but a straight line. She wandered out the bedroom toward the back door, then turned right and into a half-bath where she hopped on the sink. She looked at me: “Turn on the water, o feckless slave.” So I did.
After she drank her fill, she sauntered into the dining room to sniff around some. Only after a long exploration of the room with her nose did she turn and head to the back door that leads to the garage. It is never easy to herd a cat, even if you both know where she’s going!
I tell this family routine only because it seems a pretty basic reminder of how God might feel when trying to “herd” us on our spiritual journeys. My experiential hunch is that everyone who gives spiritual growth even a pinch of credibility in his/her life understands this: Spiritual journeys never follow a straight line.
A-to-Z in the spiritual life is filled with every other letter in the alphabet, and they live all over the landscape. As I reflect on my own spiritual journey, I think of the delightful cartoon series “Family Circus.”
How many times have we seen Billy or another child be sent for something in another room, only to see his dotted-line journey through every single room in the house? Bill Keane, the creator of “Family Circus,” not only knows human behavior well. He also has a great sense of spiritual reality.
Our journeys toward a life of spiritual wholeness are filled with all kinds of paths, freeways with many off-ramps, detours, straight (but short) roads, cul-de-sacs and speed bumps. We have to double back sometimes and learn all over again which road is the road we need to travel.
Sometimes it’s a well-worn road. Sometimes “the road less traveled” is where our spirit takes us.
I invite you to test out my premise. Indulge yourself in writing your spiritual autobiography. Nostalgia will obviously be a part of this trip down memory lane. But to be most valuable to you, your writing will also need to be completely honest. This is “for your eyes only.” So bring on the smooth roads, the potholes and the detours.
I’ve actually written my spiritual autobiography twice. In 1979 I wrote a detailed and orderly essay on “significant experiences” during my life. This exercise was part of a very involved career evaluation I underwent to decide if I should remain in parish ministry. I stayed for another 16 years.
My second spiritual autobiography came just about three months ago. It was part of my application process for acceptance into Gonzaga University’s training program for Spiritual Direction. The form was very different from my 1979 effort, but the result was just as helpful to me. I expect the two-year program will be even more helpful.
I firmly believe that if our spirits are truly growing, we never stay in the same place. Whenever I hear someone tell his or her “conversion story,” especially if it happened decades ago, I listen with respect. But occasionally my voice asks a question my heart asks every time: “So where are you now in your journey?”
If the person appears close to the same place as when he was touched in God in some way, I sadly wonder what good that experience was for him, or for others who have entered his life. It’s like the man driving on a road that stops after a few miles. But it’s such a nice drive, so he just travels back and forth on that short road.
If you do try your hand at a ruthlessly honest spiritual autobiography, don’t be put off by the times you backtracked, or backslid, on your journey. That’s part of who you are. Who is God for you at different times? God doesn’t change, but we certainly do.
Identify the times when you struggled mightily to bend your will to what you thought God might want of you. But also rejoice in those times when your life has been filled with unrestrained joy. Look at what was happening in you and around you to make your life-at-the-moment complex or simple, difficult or easy, sorrowful or joyful.
After you identify those experiences you want to reflect on, go back and put some dates to them. I think you’ll find your journey, as I’ve found mine, isn’t a straight line from A to K. (You haven’t reached Z yet if you’re alive to read this column.)
Gypsy is my cat. But “wandering gypsy” is also our pattern when it comes to spiritual growth. Let us be thankful God is even more patient with us than I am as a cat herder.