You, too, can pretend to be single online
Q: My husband of 10 years sees nothing wrong with joining date sites on the Internet to chat with other women. He portrays himself as single. He said he can talk with them about their problems, or discuss his own. Then he gives them his e-mail address and cell phone number. I’m not happy with this, but he said I’m just insecure. Do you think so?
Steve: I think you should pull his plug. Chatting with women on the Net is OK, but pretending he’s single and giving out his cell phone number is not. Ask him how he would feel if you gave out your phone number to other men. And tell him Steve said when a husband wants to discuss problems, he should start with his wife.
Mia: No, you’re not insecure. In fact, you’re very sane. Tell him that unless he gives this up, you are going to join dating sites and go out on actual dates – but just to talk about your problems. That should scare him straight.
Q: I’m a 40-something man, married for 15 years. I love my wife very much and we have a great relationship. Before I was married I had many homosexual experiences. My wife knows about my past and is turned on by it. She asks a lot of questions about my “gay days.” She has even seen pictures of me with other men. My question is, should I let her see me in “live” action with another man? It wouldn’t bother me if she wanted to join in.
Mia: I bet she likes talking about it more than she’d enjoy the live show. I think less is more in this situation.
Steve: Assuming you’ve been loyal to your wife, you haven’t had a gay encounter in 15 years, right? Give some thought to the cones-
quences of being intimate with others, regardless of what your wife thinks.
Q: I recently turned 40 years old. I think I knew more about women when I was 12 than I do now. I am very honest and very nice. I never hide my feelings or intentions. I love sex, and I believe that if the woman is right for me, she won’t be offended if I talk about it on the first date. Needless to say, I never get a second date. Sex is not the only thing, but it definitely is the most important thing to me. I have tried Internet dating services. I come up empty everywhere. It really bothers me because many women have told me I’m cute. I admit I may appear to be desperate at times, but this is really how I feel. I really hate being alone and I get depressed thinking I’m going to be alone my whole life. I know plenty of losers who have hot girlfriends. I’m not even a loser!
Steve: I agree that your knowledge of women is on par with a 12-year-old. A guy who says on the first date that he’s looking for sex is unlikely to get a second date, even if he looks like Johnny Depp. Women prefer to be seen as human beings, not lust objects. Try getting to know a woman first. Establish a relationship. You’ll find the sex is even better when there’s mutual respect.
Mia: No matter what he said, I would have sex with Johnny Depp on the first date, the second date, any date.