Your crush on Dr. Perfect will wear off

Dear Annie: I am almost 50 years old and have been married for 25 — happily, I thought. Six months ago, I was in a car accident and was rushed to the hospital for surgery. The surgeon told my husband if I had gotten to the hospital a few minutes later, I would not have survived. The surgeon is a good-looking man, five years my junior. Although I have fully recovered physically, I cannot get this surgeon out of my mind. I think of him every minute of every day. I ran into him at the bank last week and again at the post office yesterday. Each time, he approached me first to say hello and ask how I was. Is it possible he feels the same way? I cannot remember having had a crush on anyone when I was a teenager, but I assume that’s what this is. I’m a grown woman. How do I get over this infatuation? — Crushed in New York Dear Crushed: It is not unusual for patients to develop crushes on their doctors or nurses. You had a traumatizing experience. He saved your life. Your overwhelming gratitude, combined with the life-threatening circumstances, have elevated him to Dr. Perfect in your mind. The fact that he is good-looking intensifies the effect. Believe us, it will wear off. Meanwhile, recognize this infatuation for the temporary insanity it is and transfer some of that hero-worship to the husband who stood stoically by your hospital bed, worried sick. Dear Annie: My friend, “Eunice,” and I each have two children, and we get together occasionally at one another’s homes. The problem is that when they come to my house, I prepare a nice meal, all homemade. However, when we go to Eunice’s, she orders pizza or takeout burgers and asks me to reimburse her for half the cost. I am beginning to hate having them over since it’s not fair that I always have to pay half at her home, but she pays nothing at mine. I’m considering giving her an invoice for all the ingredients that I use to slap together a meal. This has been festering, and I am afraid to get together with Eunice because I might blow my top when I am asked to pay for the meal when we are guests in their home. What should I do? — Chief Cook and Bottlewasher Dear Cook: Eunice doesn’t consider you a guest at her home since you come so often and she doesn’t recognize that homemade food costs money. Here are your choices: 1) Order takeout and have Eunice pay half. 2) Figure out the cost of a home-cooked meal and ask Eunice to reimburse you. 3) Visit at times that don’t involve meals. 4) Tell Eunice what you told us. 5) Say nothing and fume. Pick one before the friendship bites the dust. Dear Annie: I am a 32-year-old female, happily married for 11 years. Since my early teens, I have not had even the smallest desire to bear or raise children. I don’t dislike kids; I just don’t want my own. I am not a nurturer. I don’t even want pets. My husband shares my opinion, and we have a wonderful relationship. My problem is with my family, friends and doctor. Why does everyone insist that I will “change my mind”? My doctor refuses to do a tubal ligation, saying I am “too young.” No one would question my judgment if I had kids I couldn’t afford. I’m told I should have “at least one,” as if I could return the child for a refund later. I’m tired of the inquisition. It’s irresponsible to have a child I don’t desire with every fiber of my being. Would you please back me up? — Child-free by Choice Dear Child-free: Consider it done. This is an intensely personal decision, and as long as you and your husband are in agreement, everyone else should butt out.