Making sense of voting on reality television
As I sit here applying my 10th layer of aloe on my first sunburn of the season, I realize what an awful candidate I’d be for one of the dating shows (i.e. “The Bachelor,” “For Love or Money,” “Paradise Hotel,” etc.). Women on those shows have deep tans and are willing to spend hours by the pool wearing nothing but their skimpiest bikini, and never once have I seen a deep-fried skin incident or a plea being made to the producers to provide better shade and sun visors.
Despite all this time in the sun, I still found time to catch up on the latest in reality TV. The biggest news is “American Idol.” I was completely dismayed when La Toya London was kicked off last week. What a tragedy. And while I may not have cried uncontrollably like Paula Abdul, or accused Jasmine Trias of soliciting every Hawaiian citizen to vote at least five times, I was still very disappointed.
Perhaps the call-in numbers were transposed and 50 million voters meant to vote for La Toya and ended up calling the “As Seen on TV” call center to order the Flowbee Precision Haircutting System instead. Crazier things have happened in this competition – after all this is the show where John Stevens made it to the final rounds.
Who knows who will win? It could be Fantasia Barrino or the George Foreman Grill. Stay tuned to find out.
“The Bachelor” is down to his final rose ceremony after Mandy J. was sent home last week, and … yadda, yadda, yadda; we all know the drill. He will choose blonde girl No. 1, and blonde girl No. 2 is going to cry and show up on the morning shows the next day to talk about what a loser her “soul mate” turned out to be.
To captivate the audience maybe ABC should add in another twist. What if Jesse Palmer gave a full play-by-play of his alone time with girls A through Z during the previous weeks, and we can all find out if Trish, the contestant branded with a scarlet letter, was as naughty as she claimed to be, or if one of the other bombshells had her beat.
If that’s not eye-catching enough for you, I guarantee that the new (somewhat absurd) two-hour special on Fox, called “Seriously, Dude, I’m Gay,” will keep you glued to your television. The new show, which airs June 7, has two very straight men convincing everyone they know that they are actually gay … all for the chance of winning $50,000. Sounds easy enough, especially if the gentlemen fall under the metrosexual category.
Just a reminder, Monday is the final pageant to decide which cosmetically enhanced beauty will be crowned “The Swan.”