‘Dateline’ takes another look at Diana
I don’t know everything, but there are three rules of pop culture that I’m pretty sure about.
No. 1: Every few years somebody will “discover” a “missing” episode of “The Honeymooners” or some other popular sitcom.
No. 2: Every year, right before Christmas, the geniuses at Apple Records will find new ways to repackage 40-year-old Beatles records to sell to misty-eyed Baby Boomers (like me).
No. 3: The “news” media will never let Princess Diana rest in peace.
Evidence of rule No. 3 can be found on tonight’s “Dateline” special “Princess Diana: Secret Video Tapes” (10 p.m., NBC). How can you air an hourlong news special about a woman who’s been dead for seven years? Apparently you can’t. It’s a two-hour news special, concluding next Monday.
Correspondent Ann Curry interviews Peter Settelen, a public relations expert hired by Diana after her public split with Prince Charles. He coached Diana on ways to speak in public, manage her public image and find the inner strength to prevail as a single woman.
Settelen explains: “If somebody can draw you out and take you to the best of you … it reaffirms, ‘Yes, that it is, it’s OK to be me….’ ” I have only one comment: Dr. Phil, watch your back!
The special includes never-before-broadcast footage of the late princess speaking candidly about her childhood, her marriage, her struggle with bulimia and her determination to win the respect of the Royal Family.
In their rush to return home before the holidays, members of Congress quickly passed legislation banning all originality in reality TV and mandating that all future shows slavishly imitate pre-existing programs.
OK, I made that up about Congress. But how else do you explain the state of reality television? Richard Branson was smart enough to earn billions of dollars and jump-start hundreds of companies, but when it comes to his own show, he’s got to star in a curdled combination of “The Amazing Race,” “Fear Factor” and “The Apprentice”?
Now the retro folks at Nick-at-Nite announce a Franken-feature stitched together from parts of “Family Feud,” “Fear Factor” and “The Amazing Race.”
“Family Face-Off: Hollywood” (9 p.m., Nick-at-Nite) asks six families to rush from one Hollywood tourist site to another and compete against each other in contrived games of daring, physical skill and knowledge of show business trivia.
Other highlights
Contestants vie for the chance to develop a rock-hard rock-star body in 90 days on “Flab to Fab” (8 p.m., VH1).
Robert and Amy learn the downside of house sharing on “Everybody Loves Raymond” (9 p.m., CBS).
A missing girl may have been kidnapped on “Las Vegas” (9 p.m., NBC).
The Packers host the Rams on “Monday Night Football” (6 p.m., ABC).
Experts and snarky commentators discuss hackneyed video techniques and video cliches on “100 Cheesetastic Video Tricks … Exposed” (9 p.m., VH1). A second helping of curdled canapes follows at 10 p.m.
An innocent pedestrian is slain by a falling body on “CSI: Miami” (10 p.m., CBS).
Series notes
Secrets and lies on “Still Standing” (8 p.m., CBS) … Joe Rogan hosts “Fear Factor” (8 p.m., NBC) … Parallel wives on “Trading Spouses” (8 p.m., Fox) … Emotional renovations on “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” (10 p.m., ABC) … A new job demands a certain image on “One on One” (8 p.m., UPN) … Wayne Newton guest-stars on “7th Heaven” (8 p.m., WB).
Tony shows favoritism on “Listen Up” (8:30 p.m., CBS) … Meet the folks on “Half & Half” (8:30 p.m., UPN).
Toothless women get teeth, TV programmers lose their souls on “The Swan” (9 p.m., Fox) … Maya takes a sleazy job on “Girlfriends” (9 p.m., UPN) … Andy and Amanda (Anne Heche) smooch on “Everwood” (9 p.m.) … A songwriting collaboration on “Two and a Half Men” (9:30 p.m., CBS) … Montel Williams guest- stars on “Second Time Around” (9:30 p.m., UPN).