CBS offers up a raft of premieres
Busy night tonight, especially on CBS.
Eye network season premieres begin at 8 with “Still Standing,” on which teenage daughter Lauren is diagnosed with depression and takes advantage of her parents’ concern. This is about as by-the-numbers as sitcoms get, but somehow the cast, especially Mark Addy and Jami Gertz as the parents, make it work.
At 8:30, it’s the debut of “Listen Up,” yet another sitcom starring a “Seinfeld” alumnus. This is Jason Alexander’s second attempt to find success in a role other than George Costanza.
He’s playing Tony Kleinman, a sports-talk host and newspaper columnist loosely based on Tony Kornheiser. Wendy Makkena is his wife, and they have two teenage kids, and when he talks about them on his show, they’re not amused. We’ll see if we are.
At 9, “Everybody Loves Raymond” returns for its last, shortened season. Hooray for them for knowing when to quit, and let’s hope they’re not planning a “Robert” spin-off. Tonight, someone drops a “bombshell” on the rest of the family, and that’s all we know.
At 9:30, it’s the season bow of the underrated “Two and a Half Men,” with Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer quite funny as mismatched brothers — hard-partying swinger of a jingle writer Charlie and recently divorced neat-freak chiropractor Alan.
Tonight, Alan wants to join Charlie’s men’s group. I can’t imagine how they swung it, but the other group members are played by Sean Penn, Elvis Costello and Harry Dean Stanton, the last three guys you’d ever expect to see on a network sitcom.
Then, at 10, it’s welcome back to “CSI: Miami” with a case that, as the ads have been telling us for weeks, one of the team will not survive.
When a yacht runs into a bridge and the man at the wheel turns out to have been shot to death, the CSIs are led to a kidnapping case that turns deadly.
And finally, at 11:35 p.m., “Late Show with David Letterman” finds Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry dropping by.
Little-sister network UPN also has its sitcom season premieres tonight, beginning at 8, but the less said about those, the better.
Highlights
“The Benefactor,” ABC at 10: Splitting into teams to schedule Mark Cuban’s time.
“North Shore,” Fox at 8: Season premiere. Shannen Doherty joins the cast as Alexandra Hudson, the illegitimate daughter of hotel magnate Walter Booth and thus Nicole’s half-sister. Needless to say, she has plans.
“Fear Factor,” NBC at 8: I’ve never liked this show, but tonight contestants will attempt to extricate themselves from a glass diver’s helmet filled with angry eels.
“Renovate My Family,” Fox at 9: Fox says the Cole-Reimer family is “a modern-day version of TV’s legendary Munsters.” I thought that was the Osbournes, but anyway, these Goths are getting made over.
“Las Vegas,” NBC at 9: The Montecito is beset by card counters and Jon Lovitz.
“Extreme Oil,” KSPS at 10: Second part of the series. Tonight, a look at Ecuador and Angola, Third World countries facing very different impacts of oil exploration.
“Monday Night Football,” ABC at 6: Vikings at Eagles.
“LAX,” NBC at 10: That’s not a corpse in that coffin! It’s a stowaway!
Family Fare
“Seventh Heaven,” WB at 8: Simon tells the folks that he and Georgia are having sex. Rev. Dad immediately decides the church better get on an abstinence curriculum.
“Everwood,” WB at 9: Amy tries to cope with Ephram’s decision, and Nina takes in her friends’ teenage daughter, Hannah (new cast member Sarah Drew), and asks Ephram to show her around. Trouble ahead!
Cable Cast
“Growing Up,” Animal Planet at 8: Raising two baby rhinos.
“Intolerable Cruelty,” HBO at 8: George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones as a divorce lawyer and a gold digger. It’s a romantic comedy.
“Found,” Lifetime at 9: Joanna Cassidy and Greg Evigan are parents whose daughter is returned to them many years after she went missing. But is it really her? Yuck.