Don’t baby-sit for mom on mission

Q: My older sister, who’s married, has developed an Internet friendship with a man who lives in another city. Now she tells me that this man is coming to town on a “business trip” the same weekend that her husband is away visiting family. She’s agreed to meet him for dinner and she asked me to baby-sit. What should I do?

Mia: Refuse to baby-sit and tell her to abort the mission. No good can come of this.

Steve: Your sister is incredibly selfish to draw you into her deceit. Tell her you want no part of this and that she needs to reconsider her actions.

Q: I’ve been dating a woman for nearly two years. We’re in our early 30s and she is asking me to make a commitment. Truth is, I just don’t know if marriage would work for me. I really love this woman and don’t want to lose her. But if I marry her, I feel like things could change and end in divorce. I may not be the kind of man who settles down. How can I know?

Steve: You are facing a universal dilemma best described by Kierkegaard: “If you marry, you will regret it; if you do not marry, you will also regret it.” You must decide which regret is easier to bear.

Mia: Why are things going to change? Some men have a mental block about marriage. If you love her and want to be with her, marriage could be a wonderful next step.

Q: I take annual vacations with a group of male friends that I’ve known for years. We drink and party and have a good time. Usually my wife is OK with it, but she recently asked me if we ever go to strip clubs. Should I tell her that we do sometimes, and that I’ve had the odd lap dance?

Mia: I’d ‘fess up, but tell her that it’s a harmless guy thing and she has nothing to worry about. If you try to cover up, she may find out later and wonder if you have something more serious to hide. In cases like this, it’s better to be transparent.

Steve: It depends on how “odd” that lap dance was. Just kidding! I’m with Mia on this. Tell her the truth and remind her that you wouldn’t do anything stupid.