Arrow-right Camera
The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

‘Battle’ more contrived than ‘reality’

Kevin McDonough United Feature Syndicate

Taking its cue from prime time’s campy past, “Battle of the Network Reality Stars” (9 p.m., Bravo) echoes the “Battle of the Network Stars” spectacles that ran in the late 1970s, back in the days before cable, VCRs and DVDs.

Of course, the old battles featured actors we had only gotten to know as performers in scripted dramas and comedies.

There was something different and diverting about watching Gabe Kaplan divest himself of his “Welcome Back, Kotter” character to play dodgeball. It was like attending summer camp with your favorite star.

In contrast, reality shows have always been very much like summer camp, so the “characters” involved aren’t very different from the folks we got to like, or hate, on their respective series.

What “Battle” lacks in originality it makes up for in casting. The producers cast a wide net and have assembled an entertaining bunch who don’t seem to have much else to do.

Some of the choices are obvious, including Richard Hatch and Sue Hawk from “Survivor” and Evan (“I’ll do anything”) Marriott from “Joe Millionaire.” The more interesting choices are those faces you thought (or perhaps hoped) you’d never see again, including Wendy Pepper, the manipulative mom from “Project Runway,” and Charla and Mirna from “The Amazing Race.”

Jonathan, the wife-abusing jerk from “Amazing Race,” also shows up and, as expected, he never shuts up.

Unfortunately, once you get over the stunt casting, “Battle” boils down to silly games and trips to the dunking tank. In short, it’s long on contrived competition and short on nasty politics, backbiting and mind games.

And that’s a recipe for a fairly dull reality show.

The action on the war drama “Over There” (10 p.m., FX) slows down for a moment. A dangerous assignment to flush out a spotter for an insurgent mortar battery finds Scream (Erik Palladino) and his squad playing a waiting game in a bunker.

The idle hours give them ample time to discuss the rights and wrongs of killing a man who may or may not be an enemy combatant. Dim (Luke MacFarlane) waxes poetic, Smoke (Kirk Jones) exhibits a gang-banger’s homicidal impatience and Angel (Keith Robinson) expresses a religious empathy with his potential foe.

While these prolonged conversations give us a pretty good idea of each individual’s background, I still get the sense that each of them is more of a vehicle for delivering pithy dialogue than a full-fledged character. Part of the problem is the ensemble nature of “Over There.”

At some point, a lead character emerges in most strong dramas. To date, we haven’t met the Andy Sipowicz of this precinct house.

Sketch comics scour the U.K. countryside for peculiar personalities in the new series “Little Britain” (6 p.m., BBC America).

Other highlights

On four episodes of “The Office” (NBC), rumors of a plant closing (8 p.m.), diversity day (8:30 p.m.), choosing a health care plan (9 p.m.) and a pretty visitor (9:30 p.m.).

The top 16 compete on a two-hour installment of “So You Think You Can Dance” (8 p.m., Fox).

On two episodes of “Brat Camp” (ABC), solitude (8 p.m.), and holiday blues (9 p.m.).

On two episodes of “Ghost Hunters” (Sci Fi), a haunted vacation shack (8 p.m.), and specters in the Big Easy (9 p.m.).

“The eBay Effect – Inside a Worldwide Obsession” (8 p.m., CNBC) looks at the economic and social impact of the 10-year-old Internet auction site.

“American Masters” (8 p.m., KSPS) repeats the profile “Richard Rodgers: The Sweetest of Sounds.” It’s one enchanted evening.

Dead bodies in three boroughs on “CSI: NY” (10 p.m., CBS).

A ferry accident may mask a murder plot on “Law & Order” (10 p.m., NBC).

Tall tales and a bona fide boar on “Lost” (10 p.m., ABC).

Cult choice

Few recent movies achieved classic bomb status as quickly as the 1995 backstage Vegas howler “Showgirls” (8 p.m., VH1), starring Elizabeth Berkley, Kyle MacLachlan and Gina Gershon.

Series notes

Mother’s Day outrage on “Still Standing” (8 p.m., CBS) … Encamped in Atlanta on “R U the Girl” (8 p.m., UPN) … Michelle Branch and Jessica Harp perform on “One Tree Hill” (8 p.m., WB) … Christine’s prank on “Yes, Dear” (8:30 p.m., CBS).

Hair and attitude on “Rock Star: INXS” (9 p.m., CBS) … Bomb threats deluge the high school on “Veronica Mars” (9 p.m., UPN) … Chloe vies for prom royalty on “Smallville” (9 p.m., WB) … Expectations derailed on “King of Queens” (9:30 p.m., CBS).