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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Now here’s a fish story

From wire reports The Spokesman-Review

Pro angler Penny Berryman told the online newsletter Inside BASS that she nearly became ill after a macabre catch a few years ago on Lake Dardanelle in Arkansas.

“I set the hook … and about that time this gloved hand started coming out of the water,” Berryman said. “I saw a finger, two fingers, three fingers, a wrist. I was panicked because I thought it was a drowned person.”

Alas, it was only the gloved arm of a mannequin – certainly nothing that would give her a leg up on the competition.

Heck of a road trip

Dan Miller, father of Boise State lineman Tad Miller, plans to be among those in Athens, Ga., for the Broncos’ Sept. 3 opener at Georgia. It’s being called the biggest game in school history, and Miller says he “wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

There is one logistical issue: He works in Baghdad, Iraq, training police officers.

His three-day trip will include travel by military convoy, a C-130 transport flight to Kuwait City, a six-hour flight to Frankfurt, Germany, and a 10-hour flight to Atlanta.

Yes, he acknowledged, it will be an even longer trip back if the Broncos get whipped.

Look out for the bunkers

Yelling “Fore!” in Iraq is not wise, but for U.S. soldiers, golf has emerged as a means of “blowing off steam,” wrote Dan Dofelmier in The Seattle Times.

Dofelmier’s unit turned the roof of a Baghdad building into a makeshift driving range.

“One soldier claimed he could drive the ball 400 yards, a distance even Tiger Woods would have trouble reaching,” Dofelmier recalled.

“We decided to call his bluff. His first ball went about 150 yards. The second was a bit farther. … After a few more futile attempts he sliced one and nearly hit one of the U.S. soldiers working at a gate.”

In such tense times, that put a stop to the game – temporarily.

Collision course

Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch asks, “Now that the Toronto Maple Leafs have signed two big centers with serious concussion histories – Eric Lindros and Jason Allison – are they hoping those two guys don’t collide in their first practice?”

He’s no Tony Robbins

The Dallas Cowboys lineup will boast as many as 12 starters 30 or older this season, which might explain the recent appearance in training camp of Kevin Costner, who has portrayed aging athletes on the silver screen.

“It’s a question that every one of these guys has to answer at some point,” Costner told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, “because, really, the reality of what we’re watching right now is, for some guys, this is the end of the road.”

Presumably, his pep talk to the team was more uplifting.

He likes his news fast

As the Washington Redskins go, so goes Dale Earnhardt Jr., who is so obsessed with the NFL team that he receives game updates during his NASCAR races.

“I’ve got to know,” he told Associated Press. “I can’t concentrate on what I’m doing if I don’t know what the Redskins are doing. My fans tell me if I lose, it ruins their week. But if the Redskins lose, it ruins my week.”

Earnhardt ought to be a wreck before long. The Redskins were 6-10 last season.

Beyond mazes

The folks at PETA ought to love this: Shane Willmott of Canberra, Australia, has taught three mice – named Chopsticks, Harry and Bunsen – how to surf on tiny boards in small waves off the Gold Coast.

Willmott was quoted by Reuters as saying that he trains the rodents in his bathtub and occasionally uses dye to darken Chopsticks’ fur before sending him out “because he’s white 1/8 and 3/8 when he gets in the whitewash, it’s hard to find him.”

Suddenly, the phrase “shark bait” comes to mind.