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The Slice: Wishing a Merry ____

Sun., Dec. 4, 2005

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Friends,

Well, it truly has been a (» » » » ) year for the (» » » » ) family.

We continue to count our blessings and consider ourselves among the (» » » » ) people in the Inland Northwest.

Even in the times that test us, we know we can always count on (» » » » ) and our faith in (» » » » ).

The year started in grand fashion when (» » » » ) learned that he/she would be singled out for a very special (» » » » ) at work/school. As our dear friends and admirers know, we have become embarrassingly accustomed to this sort of news. But who could have predicted that, shortly after this honor, our beloved (» » » » ) would also find himself/herself in the spotlight as a result of his/her unforgettable (» » » » ).

All of your prayers and well-wishes were sincerely appreciated.

Internships certainly have changed since I was that age. Ha Ha!

In the spirit of joyeux Noel, we hope that you, too, have canceled your subscription to The Spokesman-Review.

Of course, no Christmas letter from this cookie-scented household would be complete without an update on our irrepressible (» » » » ). While the Spokane authorities have been appallingly quick to judge the spirited scamp, we're sure that you will agree the (» » » » ) incident this summer should have been chalked up to youthful hijinks and harmless experimentation with (» » » » ).

Our lawyer's billable hours have been something to behold. So we hope you will understand why our much-anticipated annual letter does not include photos and full-color reproduction this year.

As you might have heard, our family gained a new (» » » » ) when our common-law (» » » » ) presented us with a little angel named (» » » » ). Glad tidings!

And the exhilarating three-week experiment of having (» » » » ) live here at the house reminded all of us of the charm of anticipating time together when a loved one lives apart. He/she is excited and happy about his/her new residential situation and we're keeping in touch every month or so by phone.

We experienced a scare on the health front this fall when (» » » » ) learned that he/she had somehow contracted a raging case of (» » » » ). He/she insists that he/she became ill as a result of a computer virus. Must be all that time he/she spends up in his/her room doing homework online!

Distractions aside, our boys have shown a real talent for (» » » » ) while the girls have turned more than a few heads with their (» » » » ) fashion sense and surgically enhanced (» » » » ). Who says self-esteem is a crock of (» » » » )?

(» » » » ) turned in his ninth-best Bloomsday time ever. And (» » » » ) showed off the old (» » » » ) spirit at Hoopfest by sustaining a groin injury the night before competition began. Ouch!

(» » » » ) continued his/her valiant struggles to lose weight and publish poetry in The Inlander.

The mail brought the affirming news that (» » » » ) had been granted early-admit acceptance at a school that's way better than the ones your kids attend.

Still, we're more than just good-looking overachievers. Down deep, we're near nature, near perfect.

Through it all, we dedicated ourselves to giving back to the community. I'm proud to say we have done this by acquiring several top-of-the-line appliances that are the envy of all our neighbors.

This year marked the (» » » » ) anniversary of blessed marriage for (» » » » ) and myself. What a (» » » » ) and (» » » » ) journey it has been.

I know I speak for both of us when I say that if we had it do over again we would definitely (» » » » ).

We were inspired to (» » » » ) our sacred bonds recently when (» » » » ) was invited by management to seek challenging new employment opportunities. This offered us the twin gifts of time and growth. And I'm viewing the restraining order as the ribbon on the wellness package.

Let heaven and nature sing.

So here, in this season of peace, I will conclude by wishing all of you a joyous holiday season.

Please know that you hold a special place in our hearts. Yes, we are special. But you, too, are one of America's families.

And it gives me great pleasure to say (» » » » ).

The problem with family newsletters mailed with Christmas cards isn’t that they tend to be insipid, trite and self-impressed. No, the real snag is that they can take awhile to write. And now that the holiday crunch is here, who’s got that kind of time? But there’s an easier way. Just clip out The Slice’s fill-in-the-blanks Christmas letter below. Then, in the spirit of the season, show the people on your list how much you really care by scribbling in your personal info and finding a photocopier. Feliz Navidad! “Today’s Slice question: Ever been injured by a snowball?