The Slice: Joy to the Lard? Not so in 1976

Rathdrum’s Claire Domme shared a treasured seasonal memory. “Back in high school, our choir was to record a Christmas album,” she wrote. “The seniors were each given solos on various songs.

This was at Trinity High School in River Forest, Illinois. It was 1976.

“Kathy sweetly sang her part of ‘What Child is This?’ “

One problem. She got a key word in the song ridiculously wrong.

The lyric in question is “Haste, haste, to bring him laud, the babe, the son of Mary.”

It has been that way since the song was written in 1865.

But this kid Kathy sang, “Haste, haste, to bring him LARD.”

The nun in charge of the project called an immediate halt to the proceedings. And the interrupted song stylist explained that she thought “laud” was a misprint.

Maybe Kathy figured, hey, if a newborn is going to be handed stuff like incense and myrrh, he might as well score a little hog fat, too. After all, they probably weren’t into cooking light back then. It could come in handy in a manger.

Lard. Sheesh.

“What made it worse was many of the other girls didn’t know she was wrong,” said Domme.

“Inspired typos: The other night, a Spokane TV station aired video of what the text at the bottom of the screen described as a “Mulit-car accident.”

Of course, it should have been “Multi-car.”

But what if it had been “Mullet-car”? Wouldn’t you love to see a report on a noninjuries mishap involving a vehicle full of hard-rocking young men with that distinctive, dated hair style?

“Officers at the scene said the cause of the accident was excessive partying and a failure to graduate from high school.”

“Top dozen songs to hum in the split-second between slipping on a slick spot and hitting the ground: 12. “Hurt So Bad,” Linda Ronstadt. 11. “Cold as Ice,” Foreigner. 10. “Fall Down,” Toad the Wet Sprocket. 9. “Fall in Love with Me,” Earth, Wind & Fire. 8. “Fallen Angel,” Poison. 7. “Fallin’,” Connie Francis. 6. “Falling,” Roy Orbison. 5. “Fallin’ in Love,” Souther, Hillman, Furay Band. 4. “Since I Fell for You,” Lenny Welch. 3. “Hit Me With Your Best Shot,” Pet Benatar. 2. “Suddenly,” Billy Ocean. 1. “Slip Slidin’ Away,” Paul Simon.

“Warm-up question: How much does the spirit of the season alter the level of consideration for others exhibited by strangers?

A) It improves people’s behavior by about 1 percent. B) It makes most of us 25 percent less considerate. C) It imbues 42 percent of the population with a Zen-like calm. D) Some people get 5 percent nicer while stressed-out others treat strangers 16 percent worse. E) Other.

“Today’s Slice question: How often does the combination of a particular bumper sticker and a certain kind of vehicle challenge your confidence in stereotypes?