The Slice: Maybe Santa can give him a parachute

Santa arrived in a mule-drawn sleigh the other day for a holiday gathering at Ben and Nancy Echelbarger’s farm near Reardan.

Young children attending the party got to take turns going for rides.

But one little boy declined the invitation.

Spokane’s Brody Dewey, 4, wanted no part of climbing into that sleigh. And his mom, Heleen, didn’t force him.

Later, she explained to Brody’s dad that the lad appeared to be scared of Santa.

Brody overheard this and rushed to refute that slander and set the record straight.

“I’m not afraid of Santa,” he said, shocked and dismayed by the charge. “I’m just afraid of flying.”

“Slice answers: Nancy Kiehn said that when she reads the brief wedding write-ups in IN Life, she often finds herself wondering how the couple met. She would like to see that information included. “It would be so very romantic,” she wrote.

On the other hand, Jodi Schmidt often thinks, “Why does every woman think she looks good in a strapless wedding gown?”

And WSU instructor Phil Mixter looks to see if any of his former students have gotten hitched.

“Maybe this is how campaign managers get started: The news coming down from the North Pole indicated Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph were locked in a power struggle to see who would lead Santa’s sleigh.

And MaryBeth Hildahl’s fifth- graders at Whitman Elementary, in the midst of studying persuasive writing, were charged with making the case for one of the reindeer.

A student named Jaci suggested the lead-deer responsibility should be shared: “Rudolph should lead when it’s foggy. Donner should lead first because he has been Santa’s faithful friend for many years. Blitzen should take over for Donner when he gets tired.”

Sounds fair.

But another fifth-grader, Angela, argued Rudolph is a living legend born to be out front and the other two are simply jealous of his celebrity status.

Felicia put it even more bluntly. “You can’t depend on Blitzen whatsoever.”

In dismissing Donner, she tried to be more tactful. “No offense. He is just downright old.”

Her pick? “The bottom line is: Santa needs to be safe.”

Vote Rudolph in ‘05.

But a kid named Kenneth called Rudolph a “drama king” unfit to lead.

What will happen?

I guess we’ll all just have to stay up late Saturday night and find out.

“Warm-up questions: How many glaring animal behavior inaccuracies can you count in that animated polar bears/penguins soft drink commercial featuring a Beach Boys song? What percentage of your day do you spend under video surveillance?

“Today’s Slice question: Would you donate $10 to a voluntary relocation program geared toward helping winter wimps find new homes in warmer climes?