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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Ask family to help before they arrive for meal

Diane Verhoeven King Features Syndicate

Dear Diane: In addition to holiday get-togethers, several times a year I invite my parents and siblings (and their families) to my house for dinner.

I love spending time with my family, but it seems like I wind up spending the lion’s share of my time in the kitchen — preparing the meal, serving the meal and then doing all the washing and cleaning afterward. I feel like a prisoner in my own kitchen!

No one ever lifts a finger or volunteers to help out, so I’m stuck doing everything. How can I politely ask them to get off their behinds and pitch in? They’re getting a free meal, for cryin’ out loud. The least they could do is clear the table and dry a dish or two.— Tuckered Outin Tennessee

Dear Tuckered:Well, if they’re put to work, it wouldn’t be a “free” meal, would it? And I’m sure when you invited your family to dinner you didn’t say, “Oh, and bring a sponge and a scouring pad — you’ll be washing the pots and pans afterward.”

Don’t get me wrong, I DO sympathize with your plight, but I think the reason you’re in this predicament is because you’re expecting your family to read your mind. So, unless you want to continue to be a prisoner in your kitchen, you need to ask for help BEFORE your family arrives, so they know what’s expected of them.

You don’t have to be mean about it. Simply say that you want to spend time with them, but cooking and cleaning for all those people steals away time that you would rather be spending with them. I’m sure they’d understand.

Another option is to use disposable plates, cups and cutlery. Serve the meal in sealable containers (like Tupperware) so that when everyone’s done eating, all you have to do is pop the lid on the container and stick the leftovers in the fridge.

This way, all that’s left for you to clean are the pots and pans — which you can let soak until your family leaves.