Just think of the Hulkster as the Ozzy of rope burns

The similarities between Ozzy Osbourne‘s family and Terry “Hulk” Hogan‘s bleached-blond brood are as striking as the wrestling legend’s famous leg-drop finishing move.

Hogan, 51, is the only seasoned celebrity among his family of four, just like Ozzy.

Daughter Brooke, 16, is an aspiring music star, just like Kelly. Son Nick, 14, is rebellious and slightly apathetic, like Jack.

And wife Linda seems to be the true ringleader of the household, just like – you guessed it – Sharon.

Of course, the tanned and rowdy Hogan family, stars of the new VH1 reality show “Hogan Knows Best” (premiering tonight at 10), would like to think otherwise.

“Our intensity isn’t madness,” insists Hogan, clad in his trademark do-rag. “We are a united front here.”

They spat, but the feuds never reach the Osbournes’ expletive-filled bluntness.

“We’re the clean version of ‘The Osbournes,’ ” says Nick.

Hogan dominated the wrestling world in the 1980s, way before anybody ever smelled what The Rock was cookin’. Known for addressing everyone as “brother” and tearing his yellow Hulkamania shirt with his bare hands, he usually was an absentee daddy because of his demanding traveling schedule.

“Little by little, he started spending more time at home,” says Linda. “He didn’t like being on the road as much anymore.”

Curfews are enforced, drugs are a no-no and dating is off-limits – although he did let a 22-year-old friend of the family take Brooke out on her first date after grilling the guy on his sexual history.

The experience, which Brooke calls “totally embarrassing,” is captured in the first episode.

Despite the strictness, Linda and Hulk are supportive of Nick and Brooke’s extracurricular activities. Nick’s into cars. Brooke’s into being a star; she wants to ride her dad’s do-rag tails to Britneydom.

After going through what Hogan calls a “boot camp” with boy-band impresario Lou Pearlman, Brooke ditched the producer and is recording a debut album on her own.

“I can’t imagine just doing a normal job,” she says.

Using his fame, Hulk is giving Brooke a big push. The pair popped up at this year’s Grammys and starred in the VH1 special “Hulk Hogan, Stage Dad.”

Although Hulk is the star of “Hogan Knows Best,” boosting Brooke’s pop career was the main motivation for allowing camera crews to invade their 18,000-square-foot home in Belleair, Fla.

“We want to be on an even playing field,” says Hogan, citing the surge Ashlee Simpson‘s reality show gave her career.

“Terry and I knew about the reality side of having a reality TV show,” says Linda. “It’s in your face. It’s four months of having no privacy.”

“You just can’t stay on guard for 24 hours a day,” says Hulk. “There was an effort for a couple of days for me to keep the rag on my head. (Forget) it. Who cares if the bald head is hanging out?”

The birthday bunch

Singer Mavis Staples is 66. Actor Ron Glass (“Barney Miller”) is 60. Singer Arlo Guthrie is 58. Banjo player Bela Fleck is 47. Country singer Gary LeVox (Rascal Flatts) is 35. Actor Thomas Ian Nicholas (“American Pie”) is 25. Singer Jessica Simpson is 25.