Even if bond doesn’t last, good story will

Dear Carolyn: About a year and a half ago, a guy I was dating kind of dropped me like a hot potato. … I was hung up on him for a while but then somehow, I realized I should be moving on. So I did. A couple of months ago, I met a guy online. While we were swapping “I was dropped like a hot potato” stories, it was suddenly revealed that he was the best friend of the guy who dropped me like a hot potato a year and a half ago. We both knew it. He wants to pursue a relationship, I’m keeping my guard up. Although he promised to keep me a secret from his best friend, eventually the best friend will find out, and that might turn into a hot-potato-sticky kind of situation. Should I get involved? – Dropped Like a Hot Potato

Dropped how?

Relationship, yay, why not. Even if it doesn’t last, the great story will.

Keeping you a secret, boo, sssss. Makes you both look sneaky and scared. When he sees your ex: “You know that girl you dropped like a hot potato? We’re dating.” When you see your ex: “Wow, you’ve lost some hair.”

Dear Carolyn: My closest and dearest friend has requested that I accompany her on a road trip to the big city. Sounded great until she confided that she is having an affair with a man in this city. Her husband doesn’t want her going alone, so she’s begging me to come along. On the one hand, I worry about her traveling alone to the city. I also respect her right to choose how to live and don’t want this to interfere with our friendship. But infidelity is a very personal, painful issue for me, not to mention I know her husband. What should I do? – Somewhere Out East

The “big city”? Drive straight backward, bear left at 1954?

Affairs are terrible, but until someone explains why Little Red Riding Hood can’t travel alone (or without spousal permission?), I’m going to suspect her affair is a desperate attempt to escape the bonds of low expectations. Still terrible, of course, but of a distinctly more forgivable kind.

Please tell her she’s your friend and you love her, and this is why you believe she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do (and if I’m right, carefully – 1-800-799-SAFE). But either she does it honorably or she’s gotta do it alone.

Hello: I’m a 16-year-old who reeeeally wants to get her eyebrow pierced. My dad is totally against it. I want to do it for three reasons: A) Self-expression. B) It’ll be a new experience. C) It’s something I really want. If you could give me some advice on how I could convince my dad, I would really appreciate it. – N.

A) Find an actual third reason.

B) To qualify as self-expression, the piercing has to be your way of saying something. Type that something out for dad, in 500 words, and include your research on any risks.

C) Ethiopian food, inline skating, learning sign language: three new-to-me experiences that won’t add holes to my face. Probably.

D) If the piercing is a brilliant idea, you’ll still want it one year from today. See if Dad will agree to that.