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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Pet funeral home serves grieving family, friends

Mikkel Becker Knight Ridder

BONNERS FERRY, Idaho – For an increasing number of people, losing a pet is like losing a member of the family.

No longer content to just dig a grave under the backyard apple tree, grieving pet owners are looking for new ways to honor their pet’s life.

Although mortuary services for human family members are readily available in practically every community, with numerous options to choose from, many pet owners face a lack of support and services for their deceased, furry loved ones.

Recently there has been an increasing trend toward full-service funeral homes designed for a pet’s passing.

Coleen Ellis established the pet mortuary Pet Angel Memorial Center in Carmel, Ind., in August 2004.

The pet funeral home was founded after Ellis lost her 14-year-old dog, Micco, during a veterinary operation.

“The reality of the lack of resources available for me to turn to for assistance came crashing in on me,” Ellis said. “My options were horribly limited.

“She (Micco) deserved people paying their respects to this little thing who had touched so many lives, and I needed and wanted someone there to help me and my husband through this time.”

In an effort to prevent other pet parents from having to go through her experience, Ellis used knowledge from time spent in the human mortuary service to build her funeral home, the first designed solely for pets.

The home cares for deceased pets and provides extended care for survivors and family members of the pet who are left behind, much like any human-death care facility.

“Eighty three percent of people call themselves mommy or daddy when referring to their pets.

“When a two-legged child dies, certain special things are done during this traumatic time. When people view their pet as a child, they can feel a very real, very large grief, and are looking for ways to remember and honor their lost friend,” Ellis said.

“People need someone to listen to them and validate their feelings after their loss,” said Ellis, who continuously offers support and phone calls to the surviving family members, “They need to know that if they don’t feel like getting out of bed and combing their hair, they’re OK.”

I know all about the unconditional love and loss of a pet. Scooter, my “wired” wirehaired fox terrier, had been my best friend since kindergarten. When I moved to North Idaho in the sixth grade, Scooter was my friend when no one else was.

Going off to Washington State University last fall marked Scooter’s 13th birthday. Although Scooter’s health was deteriorating from her battle with cancer, my love affair with her seemed forever, and I always expected to see her graying but still wriggling body racing for my Volkswagen bug as I turned the corner toward our mountain home on my visits back from college.

I will never forget the morning when my mom called me in tears to tell me that they had to put Scooter down because she was in too much pain. I felt as if several chapters of my life had been ripped out of my hands and I had lost a best friend who could never be replaced.

During my time of loss, none of my sorority sisters or college friends seemed to grasp just how heartbroken and alone I felt. I heard a few whispering, “Why is Mikkel making such a big deal out of this; it was just a dog.”

No, to me Scooter was not just a dog. She was my friend and furry foot warmer, a comedienne, confidant and exercise partner in one 22-pound package.

This Fourth of July, as I visited Scooter’s grave in our orchard on what would have been her 14th birthday, I was still wracked with grief and pain that has not healed. If I could go back in time, I wish I could have had a facility like Pet Angel Memorial Center that would have not only helped me to memorialize Scooter’s life but helped me to deal with my own pain and loss during that time.

Clients at Pet Angel are given a wide variety of options, ranging from a lower-cost cremation with an urn to a more costly and full-scale memorial service for the pet. Just like a human death care facility, Pet Angel offers more than a “removal” service of cremation, but provides for each family’s unique needs.

Pickup for the deceased pet is available, and unlike some services that run on weekly cycles to pick up deceased pets, it is done usually within the first hour of the death.

During the removal service, pets are wrapped into blankets and laid in caskets for transportation to the Pet Angel Memorial Center, ensuring pet parents that their furry friend is given respect even after death.

Pet Angel sells a variety of products to memorialize a pet’s life, from custom jewelry with the pet’s nose print or paw print embedded on it, to artwork of the pet or an embroidered pillow with the pet’s name.

The pet’s “parents” then have the option of using cremation or a burial with a casket. Memorial services are also available to commemorate the life of the pet, in which family, friends, and even furry pet friends can join in remembrance.

Yes, they even have open-casket services.

Martha Boden, executive director at the Humane Society in Carmel, recently used Pet Angel memorial service after the loss of her miniature poodle, Bentley, a service dog and representative of the local Humane Society.

“After Bentley’s death, I was completely lost and overwhelmed,” Boden said. “Pet Angel gave me a framework to hang my grief and remember my friend.”

Bentley’s memorial service hosted 20 guests and included special readings, poems and personal testimonies to commemorate his life and service to both the Humane Society and to Boden. Bentley was honored with a stained-glass urn, personalized with a picture of himself and Boden.

“Grief of losing a pet can last as long as losing a child or family member, except for when a pet dies, often people expect you to get over it and move on,” Boden said.

“(Pet owners) deserve the same support and memory of their animal’s life as does any loss of a human family member.”