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The Slice: Don’t say we didn’t warn you

Have you ever thought the message greeting drivers leaving Spokane International Airport — “Welcome to the Inland Northwest” — ought to have some sort of warning tacked onto it?

If so, let me know what you think it should say.

How about “I’d Turn Back If I Were You” or “You’ll Need to Come Down on Your Prices”?

“Rodents/sugar and spice: My friend Rob’s little boy is definitely showing signs of growing up.

He can now pronounce the word “girls.”

Until recently, he had been saying “squirrels.”

Of course, if he’d stuck with that he might have started a trend — you know, like back in the Beatles’ heyday when mod male Brits referred to fetching young women as “birds.”

On second thought, “squirrels” might not have caught on in Spokane. There probably would have been confusion. And the last thing we need is a bunch of little girls thinking they’re being blamed for digging up all the flower bulbs out of the garden.

Don’t even mention the gray-fur carnage on our streets.

“Overheard (a guy talking to a woman outside an elevator at Deaconess): “I think everyone I knew in Montana lives here now. You can’t eat scenery.”

“They’re not as common as Bloomsday shirts yet: But chances are, it won’t be long before you see someone wearing a T-shirt that says:

I’m From Hillyard

And Went To Rogers

Any Questions???!

“Time to wake up and smell the roses: What cliché or saying does a certain person in your family always get wrong?

“Two things: 1. We’ve all heard horror stories about annoying hospital roommates. But once in a while, the people sharing a room hit it off and start lasting friendships.

2. Has anyone asked bears what they think about these efforts to domesticate the huckleberry?

“Just wondering: If there is a mayoral recall election, to what extent will the results be shaped by antipathy for this newspaper?

“Today’s tip for men: If you want to support an extremely worthwhile charitable effort AND hang out with a stunningly appealing crowd of Spokane women, here’s what you should do: Call (509) 624-2378 Monday and ask about tickets to the Hope House fashion show.

I’ve taken part in this lunchtime event for three or four years now. And I always find myself thinking that any man who enjoys the company of several hundred four-star women really ought to be there. You don’t have to be single, just not dead.

Besides, half the clothes featured in the show are for men.

This year’s event is on Oct. 7. Tell them The Slice sent you.

“Today’s Slice question: What did your kid shove up his or her nose or stick in an ear, and what was the rest of the story?

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