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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: That’s one hot ticket – in 1970

The 31st time might be the best.
 (The Spokesman-Review)
The 31st time might be the best. (The Spokesman-Review)

Let’s start with a complete-this-sentence exercise. “I would buy a ticket to go see Neil Diamond in September if …” A) I had the money. B) It was 1970. C) I was being prodded with a pitchfork. D) I hadn’t already seen him 30 times. E) I could get a date. F) Other.

•Slice answer: Kim Corbin of Valleyford laughed when she saw the question about highly specific sunburns. You see, she and husband Jeff built a deck last weekend and, well, I’ll let her tell it.

“You know that little spot where your tank top doesn’t hit your shorts on your backside when you’re bent over?”

•All in the family: Spokane’s Rex Reed recently had an unusual experience. He heard some guy’s cell phone go off and wound up enjoying the moment.

As best as Reed could determine, the phone’s “ring” was a recording of the man’s young son saying, “Daddy, Mommy’s calling you … Daddy, Mommy’s calling you.”

“It did bring a smile to those around us, perhaps in part because he was heading outside to take the call,” said Reed.

•Tall Trees Department: It’s certainly not the biggest tree in Spokane. But Lou Sachse thinks her 50-foot cherry tree might be the tallest of its kind. “It’s loaded this year,” she wrote. “The birds will have a veritable feast come July.”

•Summer stories: It’s not necessary to describe someone running with a water balloon as “wild-eyed.”

That’s a given.

•Slice answer: Vester Sitton said artist Deborah Copenhaver’s Montana Vietnam Memorial in Missoula has to be seen in person to be truly appreciated.

•Taking the long view: Phil Rose scanned a list of people and events in a recent Slice designed to help transplanted residents determine if they still need to think of themselves as newcomers.

He was pleased to report that he got most of the references. “I easily qualified as a Spokane old-timer,” he wrote.

That wouldn’t be notable except for the fact that the 42-year-old Rose, who lives in Seattle, has not set foot in Spokane.

“Never,” he said. “Not once. Not even for a visit.”

But he works for a press-clipping bureau and has been reading The Spokesman-Review (along with a lot of other Northwest newspapers) for 13 years or so.

“Can I qualify for long-distance citizenship?” he wondered.

That depends, Phil. How do you feel about the Apple Cup and studded snow tires?

•Warm-up question: Real life in Spokane is most like which kind of TV commercial?

A) Beer. B) Car. C) Debt consolidation. D) High-fiber cereal. E) Extremely personal hygiene. F) Other.

•Today’s Slice question: What Inland Northwest cause would you like to see turned into a wristband?

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