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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Don’t look down too long or you’ll miss an opening

Courtney Dunham Correspondent

It’s hard to believe my nephew and niece have graduated from Lewis and Clark and Mead high schools. I remember holding them as babies, playing with them as toddlers and taking them to their first movie. How did they grow up so fast, and how has it been 20 years since I graduated from high school?

As I looked at those young faces ready to face the world, I recalled some of my triumphs and tragedies from high school – undoubtedly the most awkward years of our lives.

At the top of my list was a boy named Fred. He was an all-city quarterback for my high school, Gonzaga Prep, and in a word, he was incredible.

For some reason, I was surprisingly bold when it came to Fred. He was a senior and a star athlete, whereas I was an awkward sophomore, in the midst of severe growing pains. I had just been cut from my favorite sport, basketball, and as I stood with tears streaming down my face, looking at another list without my name, Fred walked by and smiled.

That day changed my life forever. Not because I met Fred, but because I learned a valuable lesson – never give up, no matter how much your heart is breaking. As much as you believe in one dream, if it’s not meant to be, get over it quickly and start smiling again. You never know what you may miss if you’re looking down too long.

My friendship with Fred gave me confidence in myself. He was undoubtedly the most popular boy in school, but that didn’t slow me down. He had a magnetic quality that I wanted to absorb.

With just a few months until he graduated, there wasn’t time to waste. I enlisted the help of a friend, who was also on the football team. I gave him a packed lunch made especially for Fred for the trip to the state championship game. Along with lots of goodies was a note telling him how much I admired him as a quarterback and as a person.

Fred didn’t react like most 17-year-olds would have – laughing and making fun of me to his buddies. Instead, John told me later, he couldn’t believe my gesture and was genuinely touched by it. He asked John to point me out after the game, so he could thank me. From that day on, we became good friends.

Every time he saw me in the hallway, he made a point to chat. Some of my good friends thought it was all in my head, until he asked me to dance in front of everyone.

I gave him a collage with his newspaper clips the last day of school. He showed it off to his buddies in the hall. Giving to people was what I was good at, and Fred made me feel that I was great at just being me.

Our friendship continued after he graduated. He went on to play football in college and dropped me a postcard every couple of months. He always told me how special I made him feel and how glad he was we became friends.

Sad to say, it’s been about 20 years since we last spoke, but I never forgot him.

My friendship with the standout athlete showed me that personality and perseverance is what takes you furthest. And that when one door closes, another one will open even wider, beyond what you could have ever imagined.