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The Slice: The jury’s still out on Don Knotts

Let’s start today with a frank discussion of heterosexuality and celebrities of bygone days.

“I confess,” wrote Donna Potter Phillips. “I still have a thing for Raymond Burr as Perry Mason. I can still happily pause and watch the old reruns. Paul Drake (William Hopper) was pretty easy on the eyes too.”

OK, but let’s not forget Barbara Hale as Della Street.

Sally Olson said she once had a crush on Tyrone Power.

He was, of course, the one true “Zorro.” Accept no substitutes.

Ardie Wisner considered Johnny Crawford (Mark on “The Rifleman”) to be a dreamboat. She wrote him a fan letter and received an autographed photo in return.

Don Jolley had special feelings for Bridget Bardot and Elke Sommer.

Barb Farnsworth was a big, big David Cassidy fan. “Oh, lordy,” she wrote.

But would any discussion of “The Partridge Family” be complete without a mention of Cassidy’s co-star, Susan Dey? No, it wouldn’t. Laurie Partridge was hot.

Lynn Aus enjoyed thinking about Margaret O’Brian and Annette Funicello.

Jeri McCormick had a thing for Johnny Mathis.

Faye Jones had warm feelings for actor Farley Granger.

And Lloyd Apitz was enthusiastic about Judy Norton-Taylor, who played Mary Ellen on “The Waltons.”

Good night, Lloyd.

“One week ago in local history: When the power went off in Josie Freier’s Spokane Valley home last Tuesday night, the 6-year-old girl had one key question for her mother.

Could she still flush the toilet?

“Guess they didn’t teach her about electricity in the first grade,” said Josie’s grandmother, Suzanne Lonn of Wilbur.

No, they don’t get to Utility Arts until second grade.

“Grace note: Betty Hill’s 4-year-old grandson, James, volunteered to say the blessing before a big family dinner.

Given the green light, he proceeded to flawlessly recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

The adults around the table briefly considered revealing their amusement. Instead, they maintained straight faces and told James, “Good job.”

“Just wondering: Do the stars of little-kid stories printed in The Slice get sick of hearing about their appearance in the paper by the time they are 10 or 12 years older?

“Anagram crackers: Thanks to all the readers who shared the words and phrases they created by rearranging the letters in the word Hoopfest. “Hoof pest,” “The spoof” and “Hope soft” were on several lists.

“Slice answer: Most responding readers guessed that the majority of old cars awaiting restoration around here are Chevrolets.

“Today’s Slice question: How hot does it have to be before you start wondering if you can make it home from the store with the ice cream and frozen stuff before everything melts?

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