It may seem stupid, but you have been warned
NEW YORK – You’ve been warned – no matter how ridiculous that warning might appear.
On dog treats, toilet seats, scooters and almost every product imaginable, companies are protecting themselves from lawsuits – or just plain clueless consumers – with a never-ending supply of disclaimers.
Take, for instance, the warning label tagged onto a children’s scooter.
“This product moves when used.”
While the majority of consumers would, you can only hope, react with a “Well, duh” to that revelation, companies aren’t taking any chances.
So male users of certain prescription drugs are urged to “contact your doctor” if they’re somehow afflicted with a four-hour erection – and not the “Guinness Book of World Records.”
And buyers of the Hartz Meaty Knuckle Bones are reminded that the tasty treat is “not for human consumption” – just in case that picture of the pooch on the front of the package isn’t warning enough.
“My all-time favorite has to be the warning on the drill that says, ‘Warning: Not intended for use as a dental drill,”’ said Robert Dorigo Jones, president of Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch.
The watchdog group annually conducts a warning labels contest to draw attention to how fear of litigation has led American companies to call for caution among consumers when common sense used to be enough.
This year’s winner was a toilet brush that warns “DO NOT USE FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE.”
Others found on city store shelves:
Those black-rubber fishing worms certainly look tasty to gullible fish. But there’s a “Not for human consumption” warning – just in case humans develop an appetite for them.
The instructions order users of Depend adult diapers to “step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear.” A handy illustration of the feet-first technique is added. Well, that settles that. Now no normal adult will ever think of slipping diapers on over the head.
A package of “Furniture Wipes” wants to make more than clear when it warns “do not use for a baby wipe.”
Just sit there, and don’t mess around. That’s the order from the makers of a potty training toilet that includes packet of stickers to slap on the seat. “This is not a toy,” the package says. “Stickers require adult supervision.”