Don’t sing the blues, just treat women well

Last week, I sat in a dark concert hall watching B.B. King, and “Lucille,” the guitar that is as much a part of him as his voice, sing the blues. And nobody sings the blues quite like King. Even at 79, and parked in a chair instead of standing in front of the microphone, he is a powerful presence.

King sang of love grown cold, harsh words said in the heat of anger, and hearts broken by unrequited love. Songs about heartless women who’d grown tired of their men or were cold and cruel to the one who loved them. “The thrill is gone” he cried, singing the universal lyric of the blues. “The thrill is gone.”

B.B King, like most men, wonders what it is that women want. Well, simply put, we want you to work.

As much as I like to say I have no head for numbers, the truth is math is only a mystery to me because I don’t want to work hard enough to figure it all out. It’s too much trouble. I want quick, easy, answers.

When it comes to understanding women, I think that’s what a lot of men want, too. They want a fast solution to the complex female equation. Even Einstein had trouble with women.

So, what do women want? We want your attention, and your affection. We want respect and to know that we are valued. We want kisses, hugs with our kisses and a little talk before and after romance.

We want courtesy and camaraderie. We want a good laugh. We want you to put down the remote and focus on us instead of the television. We want to know what you’re really thinking and we want to know you’re listening when we tell you what’s on our mind. And we want feedback.

We want to be the co-pilot instead of the flight attendant.

We don’t want to be the boss, we don’t really want to change the things about you that drew us in the first place and we don’t want to break your heart.

We don’t want to be pushed around and we don’t want to be taken for granted.

If you love us, we want to hear you say it. If you need us, we want to hear you say that, too. If you’re angry, tell us why.

If you want to live with us, don’t act like you’re living alone.

When you get scared, admit it. We can be brave, too. Lean on us. Let us navigate. Oh, and we want more help around the house. And, occasionally, a nonreciprocal backrub would be nice.

Most of what women really want is so simple, and easy to provide, it’s doubly infuriating when men either can’t, or won’t, pony up.

It doesn’t take a lot to make us happy. That’s why it doesn’t take much to make us mad.

Men and women are very different creatures, but in one way we are the same. We all want to love someone and we want that someone to love us. We want the thrill to stick around for a long time, but we don’t want to be the only one doing the work.

So, until men figure out how to make women happy, or women find a way to accept less from a man, we’ve always got the blues.

That is not entirely bad. Would it feel as good to see the great B.B. King pick up his guitar, Lucille, hit a lick or two, close his eyes and lean into the microphone if the thrill was still there? Probably not.

I’m sure there’s a male rebuttal to everything I’ve written. The next time Bonnie Raitt comes to town, and sings the blues the way only a woman can, maybe someone will tell women how to live with a man.

That’ll give us something to talk about.