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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Tactfully mention dog’s history; tell him to see doctor



 (The Spokesman-Review)
Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Creators Syndicate

Dear Annie: I have a rather delicate question, which I have not seen addressed in your column before.

We heard that there are some dogs that, because of their keen sense of smell, can detect cancers in humans. Last year, a gentleman in his 60s was at our farm, and our dog followed this gentleman around, constantly poking his nose at the man’s posterior. This is not normal behavior for our dog. This man subsequently was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

Since then, we have wondered if our dog has the ability to sniff out cancer. This past week, another gentleman the same age was at our farm, and the same thing happened. Our question is, should we let this man know what we think so he can get tested, even though we don’t know him well? We would feel awful if we later learned this man was not aware of his cancer until it was too late.

What would you suggest we do? – Lassie’s Mom

Dear Lassie’s Mom: With all due respect to your dog, sniffing a stranger’s posterior is not proof of anything other than the fact that your dog is, well, a dog. However, you are right about recent studies indicating dogs can sniff out certain cancers. And it wouldn’t be unusual for a 60-something man to have early-stage prostate cancer. Of course, he may already know this.

Invite this man over again, and if your dog repeats his behavior, casually say, “You know, this may sound strange, but the last time Lassie followed someone around like that, the man discovered he had a medical problem. Perhaps you should make an appointment with your doctor.”

Dear Annie: I am a single mother of two small children, and I work 50 to 60 hours a week. I grew up with an angry father who yelled at me constantly for doing everything wrong, and it planted a very ugly seed. I adore my children and love them with all of my heart, but I find myself losing my patience often, and then I make them feel the same way my dad made me feel. I can see the pain in their eyes when I become furious. This hurts me terribly.

I need to know what I can do to get rid of this anger, break the cycle of emotional and verbal abuse, and finally stop hurting my children. I hate this side of myself and want it to stop. I’m crying inside, so please help. – Hurting Mother

Dear Mother: We commend you for recognizing that you have a problem and making an effort to fix it. It will help to sign up for parenting classes at your local YMCA or park district. You also should contact Parents Anonymous (parentsanonymous.org), a support group for parents like you. The address is 675 West Foothill Blvd., Suite 220, Claremont, CA 91711-3475. Good luck.

Dear Annie: My husband and I were recently invited to a retirement party for a good friend, given by his wife. The party includes cocktails, dinner and a retirement “roast.” The troubling part is that each guest is required to pay $15 to attend the party. Also, at the bottom of the invitation, there is an address to send cash donations for the gift.

Is this proper etiquette? Should people have to pay to attend a retirement party? Should I donate money toward an unknown gift? Please settle this for me. – Anonymous in the Midwest

Dear Anonymous: When you are invited to a party, it is assumed that the host will pick up the tab. If you must pay to get in, you are either attending a performance or you have become one of the hosts, in which case, you should be involved in the decisions regarding the venue and the cost of refreshments. Putting information about gifts inside an invitation is in poor taste, but whether or not you choose to contribute is up to you.