‘Eyes’ not grounded in economic reality
Over the years, I’ve developed some theories about television shows. Many of them have to do with set decoration. If a sitcom features a perfect kitchen with expensive appliances, the comedy will fail. Why? Because real characters don’t live in showrooms. Some of the best comedies, from “Seinfeld” to “Roseanne” to “Everybody Loves Raymond,” have featured detailed sets revealing their characters tastes, social status and quirks.
The same theory can be extended to thrillers, including the new “Eyes” (10 p.m., ABC). No, thank goodness, this isn’t another drama about a blind cop. Tim Daly stars as Harlan Judd, a private eye in a super-high-tech firm with offices that look like they were borrowed from the most posh precincts of the Microsoft corporate campus.
“Eyes” has some interesting characters and some genuine plot twists, but the absurdly grandiose set tells us that “Eyes” is not grounded in economic reality or even common sense. The best private detectives used to work out of a desk containing nothing but a revolver and a flask. Their idea of office decoration extended to the window on the door, which allowed us to read their names spelled backward (E-D-A-P-S M-A-S) on the wavy glass.
Daly does his impish best to keep “Eyes” jumping. His ultra-slick agency is hard-up for cash, so he takes on the case of a corporate embezzler. This being TV in the 21st century, the thief doesn’t hightail it to Bermuda, but spends his ill-gotten gains in plain sight, hiring bevies of prostitutes to keep him company.
“Eyes” offers a welter of subplots. One sleuth is sleeping with the sleuth wife of a private-eye colleague. Harlan’s ex-boss-turned-arms dealer may or may not be trying to buy the firm, and apparently there is a spy in the nest of “Eyes.”
“Showdog Moms & Dads” (10 p.m., Bravo) has a lot going for it. Too bad it fails to live up to its promise. The great ensemble comedy “Best in Show” certainly found humor and a wealth of characters in the dog-show circuit. And Bravo’s “Showbiz Moms & Dads” offered a series of jaw-dropping portraits of overbearing stage parents.
In contrast, “Showdog” runs the gamut from the obvious to the pathetic. We see four couples with their pooches, and the dogs are the least high-strung. Almost everybody involved in this project is very “on” and very aware of the cameras. Much is made of the term for a female dog that begins with the letter “b.” There are also many moments concerning the rudiments of dog breeding and animal husbandry that are milked for ultimate shock value.
Tonight’s other highlights
Scheduled on “60 Minutes” (8 p.m., CBS): an interview with Jack Welch and his wife.
Meg’s boyfriend gets a letter from Uncle Sam on “American Dreams” (8 p.m., NBC). This marks the season, and probably the series, finale for “Dreams.”
Locke and Boone discover a secret hatch on “Lost” (8 p.m., ABC).
Bartlet asks Leo to bring order to an unruly convention on “The West Wing” (9 p.m., NBC).
The votes are tallied on “American Idol” (9 p.m., Fox).
Sydney is on the brink on “Alias” (9 p.m., ABC).
Young mobsters on “CSI: NY” (10 p.m., CBS).
A depraved cult’s practices leads to murders on “Law & Order” (10 p.m., NBC).
Series notes
Eric puts his back into his work on “That ‘70s Show” (8 p.m., Fox) … Tyra Banks hosts “America’s Next Top Model” (8 p.m., UPN).
On back-to-back episodes of “Smallville” (WB), Alicia returns (8 p.m.), investigating Chloe’s murder (9 p.m.) … Interns out of control on “The Simple Life” (8:30 p.m., Fox).
March madness on “King of Queens” (9 p.m., CBS) … An innocent snared by the Patriot Act on “Kevin Hill” (9 p.m., UPN) … Give and take on “Yes, Dear” (9:30 p.m., CBS) … The barter system on “Life on a Stick” (9:30 p.m., Fox).
Late night
Penelope Cruz, Sarah Vowell and Kaiser Chiefs appear on “Late Show with David Letterman” (11:35 p.m., CBS) … Jay Leno hosts Michael Clarke Duncan on “The Tonight Show” (11:35 p.m., NBC) … Randy Jackson, Brittany Snow and The O’Jays appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (12:05 a.m., ABC).
Queen Latifah, The Big Show and Zach Galifianakis are scheduled on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” (12:35 a.m., NBC) … Craig Ferguson hosts Carmen Electra and Nick Stahl on “The Late, Late Show” (12:37 a.m., CBS).