”Joey” ends first season with cliffhanger
I don’t have an office water cooler. Hey, I’m a self-employed writer, so I don’t even have an office.
But if I did, I can guarantee you I wouldn’t be standing around waiting for the water bubble to gurgle up while shooting the breeze about the “Joey” (8 p.m., NBC) season finale.
Yes, “Joey,” the much-hyped, dreaded and generally ignored sequel to “Friends,” has endured its first season and will be back for another. This being sweeps, “Joey” goes out with an hourlong cliffhanger about Joey’s reluctance to commit and say “I love you” to his girlfriend, Sara (Madchen Amick).
For those of you who have been paying close attention to less-than-successful Thursday night sitcoms, Amick also starred as John Stamos’ possible love interest in his short-lived ABC comedy, “Jake in Progress.”
In other May sweeps developments, on “ER” (10 p.m., NBC), Dr. Carter flies to Paris on short notice and, once there, makes some life-altering decisions about his life with or without Kem (Thandie Newton). This sets up Noah Wyle’s departure from the long-running hospital soap.
For what it’s worth, tonight also marks the two-part series finale of “The Simple Life: Interns” (9 p.m., Fox). In the first half-hour, the petulant princesses work at a Nashville wedding chapel. In the second, they intern for a motivational speaker and beauty queen coach.
This season finale arrives well after the much-written-about estrangement of the two stars and after Hilton’s much-publicized efforts to change her image and career direction.
The simple fact is that the joke behind “The Simple Life” is deader than the toe-tagged subject of a “CSI” repeat.
Other highlights
Somebody’s torch gets doused on “Survivor” (8 p.m., CBS).
Sandy and Caleb confront Kirsten about her behavior on “The O.C.” (8 p.m., Fox).
Nia Vardalos stars in the 2002 comedy blockbuster “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” (8 p.m., ABC). Some of the cast returned for the 2003 CBS sitcom adaptation, but the word-of-mouth romantic-comedy hit did not survive the move to the small screen.
Two solid hours of “Blue Collar TV” (8 p.m., WB).
Death strikes a college dormitory on “CSI” (9 p.m., CBS).
Tana Goertz and Kendra Todd tangle for the top spot on the second-to-last episode of “The Apprentice” (9 p.m., NBC).
An elderly man vanishes after a suicide attempt on “Without a Trace” (10 p.m., CBS), featuring Martin Landau as Jack’s father.
Scheduled on “Primetime” (10 p.m., ABC): the motives behind a 2003 factory shooting; an interview with George Lopez about his recent surgery.
Cult choice
Six months out of college, a gaggle of friends (Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, Andrew McCarthy, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez and Mare Winningham) suffers various midlife crises in the hilariously overwrought 1985 “Brat Pack” vehicle “St. Elmo’s Fire” (5 and 7:30 p.m., WE), directed by Joel Shumacher.
Series notes
Wrestling on “WWE SmackDown!” (8 p.m., UPN).
Late night
Billy Crystal and Garbage appear on “Late Show with David Letterman” (11:35 p.m., CBS) … Jay Leno hosts Goldie Hawn, Larry the Cable Guy and Santana on “The Tonight Show” (11:35 p.m., NBC) … Wilmer Valderrama, Ludacris and Jessi Alexander appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (12:05 a.m., ABC).
Will Ferrell and Louis XIV chat on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” (12:35 a.m., NBC) … Craig Ferguson hosts Ruth Reichl and Spoon on “The Late, Late Show” (12:37 a.m., CBS).