It’s obvious: Gypsy Curse plagues city
We’re all educated 21st century Spokanites, are we not?
Tell it to Lars. And Dee. And LaVonne. And Larry and Judy and Jay and Molly and all the rest with the same crazy idea. They blame our City Hall soap opera – “All My Interns” – on that Lilac City voodoo …
Well, here, let Molly say it: “It’s the Gypsy Curse, silly.”
There’s only one responsible response. It’s time for Reeeaaader’s Windbaaag, the irregular forum that allows my fans to spout off without being named, maimed or shamed at the next naked mayoral swim.
Gypsies, tramps and sleaze
There’s a better explanation for what triggered Spokane’s bad luck than the so-called hex placed over us years ago after a botched police raid on a Gypsy leader’s home.
We “elected council members Eugster, Talbott, Rodgers and Corker,” notes Gary.
Wearing meatball shoes
“Keep it up and yous will be sleeping with the fishes.”
Apparently this reader didn’t like my spoof of Dino Rossi’s obsession with overturning the Washington governor’s election. Of course, a guy like me gets more threats than a major league umpire. I didn’t take this one seriously – until I saw it came from:
“Carmine ‘The Butcher’ Rossi. (No relation to Dino ‘my cousin’ Rossi.)”
He’s actually from ‘Mad TV’
This reader isn’t buying our mayoral saga – “The Young and the West-mess.”
“Be honest and confess that this is all a hoax made up by the new reporter the S-R hired from ‘Saturday Night Live,’ ” writes Fred.
Blame the twisted underwear
My new column photograph is getting raves. “Is it your twisted mind that gives you the silly grin?” asks Vincent.
Holding out for Cuervo Gold
“Is it true that your sponsor for next year’s Bloomsday will be Oscar Mayer?” asks Don, obviously awed by my six-block sprint to the Spokane Club bar.
Windbaaag interruption
Join me as we pause to say, Happy Birthday, Eddie Ray Hall!
Spokane County’s most notorious criminal turned 41 on Sunday.
I wanted to mail him a card but didn’t have a clue where to send it. That’s because Eddie Ray (whose priors include nearly 50 arrests and a dozen adult felony convictions) remains on the lam wanted for dope possession and bail jumping.
Eddie Ray, you should know there’s a big surprise party and special birthday suite waiting for you at the Spokane County Jail.
We want the Hall of Detention
Speaking of Eddie Ray. If we keep letting our favorite felon make a fool out of the law, Barry worries he’ll turn into a folk hero and … “Our grandchildren will wind up eating elephant ears and riding the tilt-a-whirl at Eddie Ray Hall Days.”
Aw, hell, thanks a damn lot!
“…You remain the master of the pen – except for your occasional lapse into adolescent profanity,” writes Elouise.
How flattering, I guess
Perhaps inspired by a Doug ditty in the last Windbaaag, Mary Ann submitted this one:
“I open The Spokesman, my latte in hand.
Reading up on the latest, in lovely Spokane.
The headlines are thorough, from trustworthy staff.
But there’s only one writer who does make me laugh.
His name is Doug Clark and his stories have made,
Many in Spokane wonder why he gets paid.”
Moment of Zen from Jim
“Spokane: Fewer people livin’ large than livin’ at large!”