Meditation can soothe attitude

Twenty years ago, Fran Palumbo was seeing three doctors and two therapists for the almost unbearable pain in her back caused by a noncancerous lump. One night, she started weeping uncontrollably. And then, dreamlike, her whole life flashed in front of her eyes.

“I realized I had the worst disease of all. The disease of attitude,” says the Fairfield, Conn., resident. “That was my moment of truth. I started to pray for wisdom.” Those prayers led her to meditation, a practice she has done daily since 1985.

Back then, she was like every other suburban mother, running between tasks: driving car pools, attending PTA and Cub Scout meetings, helping her husband with his business.

“Two weeks meditating, the lump went away,” she said. “I began to see things with fresh eyes. I never realized the sky was so blue. And please don’t think I’m crazy, but I can taste the clouds in a glass of water.” Palumbo’s only regret is that she didn’t discover meditation years before. “It is the most powerful gift you can give yourself.”

Two decades ago, mention meditation and monks sitting cross-legged on cushions, murmuring “ohm-” for hours was the image that popped into most of our minds. If that’s still your image, it’s time for an attitude adjustment. Today, more than 10 million Americans have made a place for meditation in their lives. And those are the people who admit they practice it.

Consider Dr. Herbert Benson of Harvard University, who broke from the norm in the early ‘70s to study the effect transcendental meditation had on practitioners. If only Palumbo had read his mid-‘70’s book, “The Relaxation Response” (HarperTorch, $6.99) she might have begun her journey a decade earlier. According to Benson, meditation decreases the heart rate, respiratory rate, blood pressure, oxygen consumption and muscle tension.

Seems to be just what any doctor should order for our stressful lives.

For years, Palumbo has worked with cancer patients, including a group of women at the Breast Cancer Survival Center at Norwalk Community College. Susan Santangelo founded the Center 61/2 years ago, when she was searching for someplace to go, someone to talk with about her breast cancer.

On a recent night, Palumbo taught them how to meditate.

“There were 14 women in the room that night and you could hear a pin drop,” Santangelo said. “People who have had cancer are very stressed. Everybody has to deal with everyday stress. But someone who has cancer – each ache and pain can really frighten us. We can’t always call our doctor. Now we can just take a deep breath. Meditation is a tremendously helpful tool to help us relieve our stress.”

Recently, Palumbo stood before a meeting of the Fairfield branch of the AARP at the Greenfield Hill Congregational Church. More than 50 seniors, men in coats and ties, women mostly in dresses and skirts, were there to find out what meditation is all about.

Palumbo showed the group her chimes, telling them they are about to focus on the here and now. “We have 100,000 thoughts a day; 65,000 of those thoughts are about yesterday or the future. We are hardly ever in the moment,” Palumbo said.

For the next 30 minutes, we will be in the moment.

“Now close or half-close your eyes,” she instructs.

The chimes ring – then vibrate. They ring again – and vibrate. And again, one more time.

Not a sound can be heard, not even a cough.

Palumbo continues: “Take a breath in. (Silently) say ‘and.’ Breathe out. Say ‘one.’ Breathe in. Say ‘and.’ Breathe out. Say ‘two.’ Breathe in. Say ‘and.’ Breathe out. Say ‘three.’ Breathe in. Say ‘and.’ Breathe out. Say ‘four.’ ” We repeat this sequence. The group seems calmer. Shoulders relax. All eyes are closed. The chimes ring three more times. And we open our eyes.

Palumbo tells the group that “there is no wrong way to meditate. The only wrong way to meditate is not to meditate at all.”

Palumbo is quite a saleswoman, a poster child for meditation. She walks with a grace and elegance that most of us will never achieve. Her voice is lovely, calm and encouraging. No jerky hand motions. She defines lady.

Was this always this case? “Nooooo,” she smiles. “I quieted my voice. I learned to be still. To recognize my inner voice. And to follow my inner voice.” For the first few years she meditated, Palumbo kept it to herself. “In 1992, my voice told me that if I wanted to keep what I had, I had the pass it on. I thought, ‘What the heck does that mean?’ My voice told me: ‘Do what you do. Teach people how to meditate.’ ” Now she spends her days working in hospitals, with corporations and appearing before groups, leading workshops and classes.

But she always finds time to meditate. “I literally run to meditate.”

Back at the Fairfield AARP meeting, our next exercise is more complex. We are about to bask in a white loving light, send that light to someone – alive or not – and then dust our hearts with the light.

The chimes ring again three times to signal our start. As we breathe in and out, we imagine the light touching a different part of our bodies, sending this energy into ourselves, to calm, to heal. We are “to feel the love of this light, to feel its warmth.” And when the light has touched each part of our bodies, Palumbo instructs us to send this lovely light to someone we love. “Take a breath in. Say their name. Picture them. Imagine them standing in front of you. The light will touch them deeply. Release your breath. Now send them the light. And know that they have received your gift.” But we are not done quite yet.

“Take your right hand, and dust your heart. This loving light of energy is now with you forever. If you are feeling stressed, dust your heart and it will return.” The three chimes signal our return to reality.

Ann Pjura of Southport, Conn., is amazed. “I tingled. I am on the verge of tears,” she said. “It was so beautiful. The imagery. Will I do it again? Absolutely.” So will Arthur Yu of Fairfield. “People are all so busy. But all of us have 24 hours each day to use. It’s how we use those hours and set priorities that is so important. I will do this. It is so easy to do.” Palumbo tells them how.

“Before you put your head on the pillow each night, sit up in bed and meditate for one minute. Then put your head down and sleep well. In the morning, before your feet hit the floor, sit up and meditate for one minute.” For those who say they are too busy for even this, Palumbo offers this solution: “We all go to the bathroom many times during the day. One time, stay an extra minute.”