Don’t get mad at your bad boss, use finesse

Bad bosses are usually characterized as larger-than-life tyrants or fools. Just look at Mr. Burns from “The Simpsons,” the pointy-haired boss from the comic strip “Dilbert,” or the head honcho from the cult classic flick “The Office.” But it’s no fun when these characters mimic your own office life. A boss who belittles or screams at you or lacks communication skills can cause stress, illness and sleepless nights, and prevent you from enjoying your job.

A boss may be a monster for different reasons. Maybe he is insecure about his job status in this era of restructuring and downsizing. Perhaps he’s having trouble at home or with personal finances. Or it could be that he’s just not a nice person.

The cause of the behavior isn’t your problem. Your problem is how you handle it. Here are some ideas to help you take control of the situation so you can make your life more pleasant and your workday more bearable.

Problem: “My boss often gives me feedback but it’s all negative.”

Solution: Don’t just accept the negativity: Ask for an appointment to discuss how you can improve your job performance. At the meeting, act like a professional, accepting his views without being defensive. Each time you get a new assignment, think about how you will approach it and confirm it with your boss.

Problem: “My boss screams at me in front of others.”

Solution: If your boss treats you like a 3-year-old, don’t ‘egg’ him on. The best response is, “OK, I understand.” If he screams at you in the middle of a packed-house meeting about not making a deadline, keep your voice and delivery low. That way, he will feel like a child and you will come off as the adult. If this strategy doesn’t work, set up an appointment with your boss. Ask him if he can speak to you about certain matters privately instead of publicly. Document descriptions of these meetings. That way, you can have a paper trail if you need to take your complaint to your boss’s boss or human resources.

Problem: “My boss is completely unrealistic with his expectations.”

Solution: Make a list of your workload one week. List what you are doing and how long it takes to get it done. Then take this list to your boss and ask for suggestions on how you can get it all done on time. You may get more recognition for your efforts or even a raise once your boss understands how much you’re doing.

Problem: “My boss has no idea what he is doing in his role.”

Solution: Since your boss isn’t on top of things, stay on top of your boss. Ask him if there’s anything else you can be doing on the job. Give an in-person or e-mail summary of what you’ve gotten done every few days or after you’ve finished a major project. While there’s not much else you can do, at least you can try to do things his way.

If these tactics don’t work or you feel your boss’s behavior is unacceptable, don’t just sit there. Report your boss’s antics to his supervisor or to someone in human resources. If you don’t want to be a troublemaker or whiner, ask for a transfer or see if you can make an internal move to another department.

If you can’t do that, consider searching for a new job. Try not to quit before you find a new one. But if the situation is ruining your life, you might need to leave. A job shouldn’t be detrimental to your health or your sanity.