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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

The Slice: Plan ahead to skip the holiday party

It’s not too early to start planning your excuse for skipping the office Christmas party.

How about “I’d go, except I’m pretty sure people from work will be there”?

Just wondering: What is Spokane’s most prevalent fashion mistake (that might not be quite so common elsewhere)? Don’t say “mullets.”

Slice answer: “As someone who lived on the East Coast years ago and someone who arises for work at 4:30 a.m., I love the starting times of TV sports in the Pacific Time Zone,” wrote Terry Hontz.

Well, except for 9 p.m. GU basketball games.

It’s great to stay up late: Vicki Heitman’s 4-year-old granddaughter, Ronni, asked if she could have a “slumpover.”

Heitman assumes the child meant “sleep-over.” But she allowed that the girl could, in fact, be referring to what Grandma does after a sleepover.

Ridiculous Arguments Department: The Slice heard about a Colbert family where the kids regularly fight about whose turn it is to blow out the candle after dinner.

Sounds like elegant dining — Spokane style.

Operation candor: Ray Kensok wonders if the “Nut Factory” sign visible from the interstate out between Spokane and the Idaho line is read by some as a commentary on certain local governments.

Dakota Smith’s pet peeve: “When someone tells you something bad that has happened to them and to be polite you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ and in return they say, ‘It’s not your fault.’ “

Fooling around on Google: You get some mildly entertaining hits when entering “Spokane” and “embarrassment” as search terms. Same goes for pairing “Spokane” with “idiots,” “underrated” or “underwire.”

Identity theft: Several readers said the feathered friend illustrating Friday’s Slice was a grackle, not a crow. Another said it was a brewer’s blackbird.

“A crow would know the difference,” wrote Stephen Lindsay of Coeur d’Alene.

I brought all this to the attention of page designer Ralph “Swordfish/Sailfish” Walter, who issued the following statement: “I never claimed it was a crow. It was simply a birdbrain commenting on the tedious war of nerves in your back yard. But I can tell you that I’m never again selecting animal art to illustrate your column.”

Warm-up questions: If you could draw up a last-minute one-sentence initiative to go on the November ballot, what would it say? What were you too embarrassed to admit to a police officer when he or she pulled you over? Is high school boys sitting in the stands and ogling female volleyball players a sign of progress? How do you like the type size in the new phone book?

Today’s Slice question: Is close friendship possible when one person is really into hunting and fishing and the other isn’t even remotely interested in either?

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