Linda Peterson has a question. “What’s up with ‘real quick’?” You know, as in “Can I see your I.D. real quick?” or “Wanna just sign this for me real quick?”
Often it’s retail clerks who say it.
“It makes me wonder what will happen if I don’t move quickly enough,” wrote Peterson. “Actually, it is so annoying that it makes me want to move more slowly.”
Now I suspect that often the person saying it is simply trying to indicate that he or she doesn’t wish to delay the customer.
But I’ll grant that occasionally it’s the clerk who is in a hurry. And that can get old. Real quick.
“Animal Names Department: “My husband had three pigs once upon a time that he named after operas,” wrote Loni Reynolds.
They were Pigoletto, Madame Butterpig and Soo-ida.
And then there’s this.
“We had new neighbors we had not yet met,” wrote Eileen Bakken. “Three of our cats were out and wouldn’t come when called. So I yell, ‘Otis, Jeffery, Michael, get your butts in here NOW!’ “
Turned out two of the new neighbor kids were named Jeffery and Michael.
The moment proved to be a great ice-breaker and, Bakken said, the cats came in, too.
“More Slice readers list their all-time favorite TV shows: “The Lone Ranger,” “Bonanza,” “Batman,” “Hawaii Five-O,” “Get Smart,” “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis,” “Star Trek,” “The Twilight Zone,” “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.,” “Mission: Impossible.” — Dale Roloff
“Leave it to Beaver,” “Little House on the Prairie,” “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In,” “L.A. Law,” “Gunsmoke,” “Bonanza,” “WKRP in Cincinnati,” “NYPD Blue,” “ER,” “That ‘70s Show.” — Terri Charbonneau
“Bunch of Bobs: I spoke with one of Spokane’s many Robert Smiths the other day. And I asked him what it’s like to have a name shared by almost 30 others in the phone book. I mean, there have to be occasional mail mix-ups, wrong-number calls and what not.
Smith told me his policy: “I cash all the checks and return all the bills.”
“Family Sayings Department: Nick Britz’s little granddaughter, Gracie, once emerged from the bedroom after a nap, still rubbing her eyes and not altogether awake. “I’m crooked,” she said.
Britz thought that was the perfect way to describe that fuzzy state of mind. “Everyone in the family uses that at this point,” he wrote.
“Instead of “steel belted radial”: Rudy Bierig shared another classified ad in which something apparently got lost in translation. The ad offered “Studded field belted radio tires.”
And before Kristi Philip was an Episcopal priest, she worked for a newspaper. She still remembers one classified typo from those days. The ad listed a pickup for sale, “with wench.”
Usually, that’ll run you extra.
“Today’s Slice question: What percentage of NFL fans are political conservatives? Liberals? Oblivious?