He caught gonorrhea in no other way

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for three years, and we have a 21-month-old daughter. Recently, my husband found out that he has gonorrhea. I asked him how he possibly could have contracted this disease. He insists he hasn’t been with anyone else and that he would never risk losing me and our daughter.

He says he goes straight to work and right back home. I can’t think when he would have the opportunity to cheat, but let’s face it, it doesn’t take all that long. I am convinced he’s slept with another woman because gonorrhea is a sexually transmitted disease.

I am upset, confused and crushed that my husband would lie to me like this. I mean, there can’t be any other way to get this, right? I hate being left in the dark, and I don’t deserve this. How do I get him to ‘fess up? – Ready to Leave

Dear Ready to Leave: We don’t want to break up a family, but it is highly unlikely that your husband contracted gonorrhea through any means other than sexual contact. Symptoms usually show up within 30 days of exposure. If there are details that could exonerate him, you should discuss it with your gynecologist or internist, or contact the American Social Health Association ( www.ashastd.org), P.O. Box 13827, Research Triangle Park, N.C. 27709.

Dear Annie: My husband’s brother is getting married soon, and the couple has opted for an all-adult reception. The bride’s parents do not seem to have a very high tolerance for children at all and would prefer to keep the reception very formal. All the children are invited to the ceremony, but no one under the age of 18 is invited to the reception, except those in the wedding party.

I have three children under the age of 10. Two of our children and my husband are in the wedding. So where does that leave me and my youngest child? Hiring a baby sitter is not an option because we are coming in from out of town.

I have decided to go to the ceremony and then return to our hotel room with my third child and order pizza, visit the pool, etc. Am I making a poor choice that my husband’s family might hold against me? – Need an Opinion in Ohio

Dear Ohio: The wedding couple is entitled to exclude children if they wish, although since three members of your family are in the wedding party, it would have been nice to make an exception for your youngest. Nonetheless, most parents in your position ask the bride and groom, or other family members, for a list of baby sitters in the area. (Considerate bridal couples provide the baby sitters altogether.) You then have the option of hiring one to stay with your youngest child near the site of the reception. Otherwise, sorry to say, you will indeed have to skip the festivities.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Mad in Indiana,” the 11-year-old who was lonely. My daughter also is an only child and always felt deprived.

For the past three years, we have had foreign exchange students living with us. It has been a wonderful experience for everyone. My only regret is that we did not start having students earlier, when my daughter was 11 or 12 years old.

My suggestion is to select a student who has interests similar to those of your child and family. Also remember that the exchange student is not a built-in baby sitter and should not be expected to entertain the young children.

I have been a volunteer area representative with Youth for Understanding for the last two years and have learned a great deal about kids and their cultures. If you are a caring family, please consider this wonderful experience. Call Youth for Understanding at 866-4-YFU-USA (866-493-8872) or check the website at YFU-USA.org. – C.R.

Dear C.R.: Here are three more resources: Center for Cultural Interchange (cci-exchange.com) (888) 227-6231; AFS Intercultural Programs (afs.org) (800) 237-4636; and AYUSA (ayusa.org)(888) 552-9872.