Carolyn Hax: No shame being on psych meds

Carolyn Hax is away. The following is adapted from winter 2005 live discussions on www.washingtonpost.com.

Carolyn: After a few years of back and forth with psych meds (took them, decided I was better and weaned myself off, repeat), my doctor and, to some extent, I have come to the conclusion that I’ll have to be on them for a long time, if not forever. I’m having a tough time coming to terms with that idea. Any thoughts on how to make sense of it without the stigma? – Washington

If you were diabetic, you would take insulin without shame. It’s as much about chemicals with you, it’s just a different set of chemicals.

That’s how I would make sense of it.

Carolyn: Re: Psych drugs. To take this a large step further, I had a friend whose brother committed suicide. The backlash she received from people was discouraging and infuriating. As a result, she was having a hard time coping with the loss and the stigma. The only thing I could think to say to her was similar to your response – your brother died of a disease. Period. Mourn him as though he died of cancer. It helped. – Anonymous

Thank you.

To take it another very large step further, how many people with cancer die because society stigmatizes treatment?

Backlash creators, please note.

Carolyn: Recently I attended a party and my roommate gave me the opportunity to get a woman’s phone number. At the time I was drunk and more interested in her friend but took the number anyway. I called her and told her, nicely, I was interested in her friend. She said she would pass the message. What do you think my chances are of meeting with the other woman? – Maryland

0.

Or, 100 percent, if you gravely misunderestimated the beauty of the woman you called.

You have to appreciate the cruelty of that.

Carolyn: Re: Maryland. How do guys not realize how horrendously tacky it is to approach a woman only to get info about her friend? This happened to me all the time in college, when I had a particularly attractive roommate. She and I both found this behavior crass, and she never went out with anyone who “approached” her this way. – Also Anonymous

My guess is people rationalize it as something they do only once, without considering that the less-glamorous friend may well have gotten this same approach for info from 100 guys and now feels about as attractive as a boot-scraper.