Father-daughter connections key

We all know the stereotype. He’s the clued-out dad who doesn’t know an iPod from IHOP; the guy with the wallet whose relationship with his kids, especially if they’re daughters, is decidedly background.

“Society hasn’t paid enough attention to the relationship between fathers and daughters,” said Dr. James Longhurst, a licensed psychologist for Ohio’s Montcalm School for Girls, a residential treatment program for troubled teens. “But the truth is, it’s a relationship that has a long-lasting impact on the woman his daughter will become.”

Longhurst said that girls who have strong bonds with their fathers learn early-on how to relate to men in positive ways and are far less likely to use sex as a tool for relationship-building. They’re also less prone to esteem issues, including eating disorders. “The importance of a strong father figure in a girl’s life can’t be overstated,” urged Longhurst, adding that by “strong” he doesn’t mean overly authoritative. “Fathers who empower their daughters to make decisions on their own help build a foundation of trust and respect that transfers to other areas as well.”

Longhurst believes that the best way to learn about positive relationships is to see them modeled, including the relationship between father and mother.

“And even if there is no father in the picture, it’s important to look for good male role models. They’re out there, whether they’re family members or coaches or community mentors.

“You teach young people respect by showing them respect. You teach them integrity by treating them with integrity. Our goal, and it should be everyone’s, is to help kids discover and build on their strengths and learn how to handle conflict in productive ways,” Longhurst concluded.