Avoid a flop this Friday the 13th

Here’s The Slice’s advice on how to make sure today – Friday the 13th – is not unlucky.

1. Ask yourself, “If I’m such a savvy poker player, how come I always lose?”

2. Don’t drink and drive.

3. Don’t smoke a joint while doing your taxes.

4. Do not do anything that involves saying, “Would you consider this harassment?”

•Friendliest gas station: Fern Nell nominated the Chevron across the street from Safeway on North Fourth in Coeur d’Alene. She was stranded in the grocery’s parking lot. Her car’s battery was dead.

“The mechanic dropped everything to help me,” she wrote.

•Just wondering: Do students at state colleges use vulgar language more often than students at church-affiliated schools?

•Slice answer: Carol Woodward described what would happen if she threw the ceremonial first pitch at a Spokane Indians game.

“Ker-plop,” she wrote.

I take that to mean she does not possess a rocket arm.

•Switching to short sleeves: “When we return from spring break vacation and I have a little bit of a tan on my arms,” wrote North Idaho’s Jan Jesberger. “Before that, they are just too blue-white to be let out in public.”

•Today’s good-dog story: Years ago, Kristy Bennett visited an animal shelter with the idea of picking out a pet for her Newman Lake day-care facility. “I was adamant that I needed a small dog that wouldn’t knock over the children,” she wrote.

She spotted a pup with black, pointy ears and brown eyebrows. “The staff assured me that he would not weigh over 30 pounds,” said Bennett.

Six month later, Spike the day-care dog tipped the scales at 85 pounds. Bennett’s vet said the pooch was probably a German shepherd/husky mix.

“My fears of having a great big dog with small children melted away as I watched him through the years take a personal interest in each and every day-care child we raised. He felt it was his personal responsibility to keep them safe while playing in the yard.”

Salesmen saw Spike and thought twice about approaching. But the kids knew he was a big marshmallow.

“Spike lived to be 15 years old,” wrote Bennett. “He was loved and missed by many, many children.”

•Slice answer: Victor Buksbazen responded to the question asking whether churchgoers feel odd about observing that members of the opposite sex look especially good dressed up in Sunday finery.

“It would be tres weird NOT to notice.”

•Today’s Slice question: What’s your conspiracy theory?