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Sunday, September 22, 2019  Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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News >  Features

Maybe the elves check the tires

By Paul Turner The Spokesman-Review

Have you ever thought about Santa Claus having another job?

Well, according to some second-graders in a position to know, he works part time at a Shell station in Hayden.

Maybe he’s their lube, oil, reindeer specialist.

•Just a thought: Maybe instead of “Right Now,” KHQ’s news slogan ought to be “Right Now — Unless there’s a basketball game.”

•Christmas village, Spokane style: Sharon Leon said it would include the Riverfront Park Clock Tower and Carrousel, Whitworth, Gonzaga, the various gardens at Manito Park and several veterinary clinics.

Veterinary clinics? “When you have seven animals, you tend to have different priorities.”

Craig Heimbigner suggested that a Spokane Christmas village would feature a parking lot half full of cars and trucks from the ‘70s and ‘80s.

Jeannie Maki said it would include a couple of historic buildings in the process of being torn down.

•Go ahead, bite their heads off: Donna Odean was in a long line at a South Hill post office. “As we stood shifting from foot to foot, balancing our parcels and trying to be patient, one of the postal employees walked down the line and passed out gingerbread cookies.”

•Slice answers: “Our mailing address is Newport, our phone number is an Elk number,” wrote Teddy Bernier. “We can call Spokane for free, but Newport is long distance. Driving distance to Newport is 23 miles and it is 23 miles to the Spokane ‘Y.’ Go figure.”

Helen Youngblood lives inside the Spokane city limits but, for her mailing address, she is required to use the Nine Mile Falls ZIP code.

And here’s Gary Klingbeil’s situation. “I live 10 miles from the Ione, Wash., post office and 24 miles from the Cusick post office,” he wrote. “My address is Cusick.”

•Two for Tuesday: 1. A friend’s 11-month old granddaughter is afraid of Christmas trees.

2. Another friend would like it known that wearing her gold-sequined Christmas sweater should not be construed by certain elderly acquaintances as an invitation to feel her up.

•Seasonal tip: You know those reusable grocery bags made of canvas or other fabrics? Well, Carol Voogd recently discovered that they work well if you need to sweep snow off your car and find yourself without a traditional brush/scraper.

•Warm-up questions: Ever kissed someone and said, “This is for Burl Ives”? Do you make any assumptions about people who have black cars?

•Today’s Slice question: What were some of your kids’ suggestions about what to get the pets for Christmas?

Wordcount: 409
Tags: The Slice

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