Dear Annie: I’m a single mom in my early 40s, very fit, with no children currently living at home. I recently joined a running club in my community. In this club, I met a terrific guy. “Dane” is in his late 40s, in excellent physical condition, funny, charming, a true gentleman and very handsome. He’s financially sound and in a good profession. Basically, he’s the guy I wish I had met 20 years ago.
Dane and I meet once a week to run on nearby running trails with our group. From the first glance, I haven’t stopped thinking of him. I have fallen in love with this guy. Once, I invited him to lunch, since our jobs are close to each other. During the meal, I asked why his wife isn’t at any of our runs. He confided that his wife is extremely obese and not into fitness. He also admitted that he would love to have her companionship when running, biking and going on motorcycle rides.
A couple of weeks ago, I ran into Dane and his wife in a department store, and he was right. She is huge. I’m guessing she weighs close to 300 pounds. He didn’t say it, but I suspect he’s not in a happy marriage.
Dane doesn’t have a clue how I feel about him. I’ve flirted with him, but he doesn’t seem to notice, although he always chooses to run with me. If he knew how I felt, things could be different between us. Should I tell him? – Floundering in Florida
Dear Floundering: You do not have the right to break up a marriage because someone’s wife is obese. If you want a man in your life, find one who is available. If Dane wants to cheat on his wife, he will let you know, but we strongly urge you not to encourage him, or more than your running shoes will be covered in dirt.
Dear Annie: What do you think of parents asking for $50 donations to help fund their child’s European vacation?
This is not a needy family, and we feel put on the spot. I have heard of kids doing car washes or yard work to pay for special trips, but that’s not what is going on here. Is it appropriate to do this nowadays? Most people around here are appalled. – Baffled in New England
Dear Baffled: No, it is not appropriate. It is extortion. Don’t let them intimidate you into donating if you don’t wish to. Simply say, “Sorry, we can’t contribute. We’re sure Jeremy can find a part-time job if he needs extra cash.”
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