No time to spare? Build breathing room into life

I was sitting at an outside table waiting for the person I was meeting for lunch. Most of my weekdays include a working lunch, but there is really nothing like sitting outside to eat on one of these clear, warm days in the Inland Northwest.

The pleasure of such a simple setting makes even a business meeting more attractive. The summer weather makes us slow down to savor time passing just a bit more, because deep down we know it is precious and fleeting.

I glanced at my watch a couple of times while waiting, as the fellow I was meeting with was already late. I employ a 15-minute rule, and that is all I will wait for people. But I have to admit, sitting in the shade, sipping iced tea, watching the birds meander, I was in no big hurry to return to my office and the computer screen. Suddenly, he came rushing in, about 10 minutes late, flustered and full of apologies, and that’s when I told him that the 10 unscheduled minutes of waiting was actually a gift.

I suggested he sit down, order a cool drink and relax. He went on to tell me about his already too-full day, the traffic delays, not allowing enough time to get from Point A to Point B, and the added demands on his time because one of his co-workers was sick, which meant he had to pick up the slack.

PHEW! Just listening to him raised my blood pressure. Problem is, this is his way of living, his normal pace, working 60-plus hours a week, only to have to run around on Friday night to the lake where he crams in way too many events, people and projects into a weekend only to dash back on Sunday night to begin his week again.

He sits down and begins to tell me he is frazzled, frustrated and fears he is not doing a very good job at work or at home. That fear is causing him to take on more at work and shovel more of the entertainment responsibility onto himself for his family.

His boss is not happy about this arrangement and has counseled him about his lack of focus. Even his wife complains that he is never really there for her. Wow, what has he created?

A life without margins, or, to use the latest buzzword, a life without capacity. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is creating all sorts of problems in the business world, some of which are:

•Employees whose hair is always on fire (where life is one big crisis).

•Business environments that are letting customer service fall by the wayside because of “lack of considerate time.”

•Customers who snap when your negative encounter with them seems to be “the last straw.”

•Managers who communicate in such a curt manner that it stifles creative problem-solving.

If you find yourself in a life without margins, any unplanned event has the potential to throw you a curve ball that you may not have any capacity to manage. If you feel you fit this bill, consider these questions:

•If you encounter a traffic jam that puts you 20 minutes late to an appointment, will that event make you late for the remainder of the day? If so, your schedule has no margins. Life happens, and to reduce the pressure, we need to schedule ourselves some time to recover, some time to reflect and just, some TIME, period.

•How often do you set aside time to problem solve, to simply think through a dilemma, or just have 30 minutes to yourself? If your answer is “hardly ever,” then you have left yourself no breathing room, no margins.

•Do you, several times a week, get the feeling you cannot take on one more thing? Do you ever feel like everything could come crashing down around you at any moment?

There is hope and a solution! You can begin right away to build margins in your life. Here’s how:

•Learn to say no. Your time is a valuable asset. Guard it and spend it like you do other things you treasure.

•Make sure you always have a Plan B. Understand you can choose what you do and who you spend time with.

•Set aside enough ready cash to cover emergencies, as well as enough that will allow you to take advantage of opportunities that arise.

•Schedule time for you, even if it starts with a mere 15 minutes a day.

•Pick events and causes you honestly love and give them your energy. There is not a lot of satisfaction in being spread so thin that nothing is realistically covered.

•Be selective about what kinds of people you give your time to. Some will enrich you, while others will drain you.

•Take time to think, simply think.

•Allow less time to complain and more time to say, “Thanks, I appreciate you.”

•Reflect on your interactions with others. What we share with one another is the most valuable of assets because it gives recognition to our capabilities, or intentions, and ultimately, raises awareness of our own behavior.

There is no greater reward than gaining insight into how we affect our own world, whether at work or in our own personal lives.