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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Employed moms, stay-at-home moms more split on choice than ever

Sharon Jayson USA Today

Just when you thought the mommy wars were over, a new study shows the divide has grown deeper over the past decade between employed and stay-at-home moms.

But the study, released Thursday, also finds one area where both groups concur – working full time is less appealing than it used to be.

The research, conducted by telephone last spring by the Pew Research Center, compares the responses of 414 mothers of children under 18 with 457 mothers in 1997 who responded to a similar Pew survey.

Not all questions this year are compared with the previous study, but of those asked a decade ago, both groups had similar views about an increase in women with young children working outside the home – 38 percent of at-home moms and 39 percent of working moms said it was a bad trend. Now, even more at-home mothers (44 percent) believe it’s bad, while working mothers who believe it’s a good trend jumped from 19 percent in 1997 to 34 percent today. (But 34 percent of working mothers still believe it’s bad.)

“There’s so much finger pointing going on and that has to do with the guilt and the self-justification of the choices they make,” says Rachel Hamman, author of the 2006 book “Bye-Bye Boardroom,” about the choice to stay home.

“Working moms are trying to stand their ground, as are stay-at-home moms. Sacrifices are made at both ends,” she says. “Working in the home or outside the home, there are things you give up.”

Researchers say a combination of relatively new factors has intensified the split, including the trend toward “intensive parenting” at the same time employers are demanding more of workers. And, they say, blogs contribute to these deeply entrenched feelings.

“It’s forcing a polarization,” says Pamela Stone, an associate professor of sociology at Hunter College in New York City and author of “Opting Out? Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home.”

“The Pew study also reflects this attitudinal change, with the allure of full-time work considered less ideal than 10 years ago. Among working mothers, 60 percent now say part-time work is the ideal situation, compared to 48 percent in 1997, while 32 percent said full-time work was the ideal, compared to 21 percent now. Views on staying home remained about the same, with 19 percent in 2007 saying it’s the ideal compared to 20 percent in 1997.

Among at-home moms, 16 percent today say the ideal situation is full-time work; 33 percent say part-time is. But 48 percent say staying home is ideal, up from 39 percent in 1997.

Bureau of Labor Statistics data for 2006, released in May, show only about a quarter of working moms work part time.