Annie’s Mailbox: Ask trusted adult to talk to Mom

Dear Annie: I am a 15-year-old girl whose mother has left her behind for a new boyfriend. Mom met “Hayden” about six weeks ago, and ever since, she spends all her days off with him, at his house, which is an hour away.

Mom has been through two divorces. The current one isn’t final yet, and she’s already out there. I worry she’s going to get hurt again.

I am very stressed and don’t know what to do. – Anxious in Arizona

Dear Anxious: We think your mom is a little anxious, too. Some women are afraid to be alone and judge their worth by whether or not they have a boyfriend. It would be a good idea for your mother to take some time and work on herself and her choices before embarking on any new relationships. She also should not be neglecting her daughter. However, you cannot force her to behave in a more responsible manner. Is there a trusted adult you can talk to about this? You need someone to intercede with your mother and speak up on your behalf.

Dear Annie: How can I help a friend who has a sexual addiction? I’m afraid she will end up dead on a country road somewhere. – Befuddled in Texas

Dear Befuddled: You do realize that your friend has to admit she wants help. Most sexual addictions are connected to other underlying problems, such as stress and depression. If your friend is willing to seek help, suggest she contact Sex Addicts Anonymous (saa-recovery.org) at (800) 477-8191.

Dear Annie: I have stayed in a miserable marriage for nearly 30 years. When my youngest child graduates from high school, I will leave.

My husband is well-known and beloved by our community. When I walk out, everyone but my children will think I am crazy.

Their father is an entirely different person at home than the one he presents to his adoring public. He hates his job, has no interests, no hobbies and no friends. He is estranged from his siblings and does not keep in contact with his own parents. He does not enter into conversation with me or our children and does not listen when we talk to him. He comes home, sits on the sofa, eats and watches TV.

We have been to marriage counseling four times, but he will not follow any of the counselor’s suggestions.

I will lose several relationships when I leave, but I’m willing to risk it. I’m asking your readers to please extend grace. – One More Year

Dear One More Year: How sad that your husband won’t seek the help he needs. Before throwing in the towel, perhaps you can lay all your cards on the table. He may not realize how close his marriage is to the finish line.