Steve Massey: Blessing comes to us even when the answer is no
No one likes to be told “no.”
You readers keep reminding me of this.
Ask the barren woman in Coeur d’Alene who desperately wants a son or daughter of her own.
Ask the 50-something in Spokane who for years has prayed that God would provide him a wife.
Ask the mother in St. Maries who prayed to never be preceded in death by her only son.
“No” is a hard answer.
It is especially hard when it comes from an all-powerful God who easily could answer “yes,” yet chooses not to do so. So distasteful is a “no” from God that we tend to call it “unanswered prayer.”
And yet, it seems to me, all prayer is answered. It’s just that sometimes the answer is not what we want.
But there is power and blessing in “no,” don’t you think?
A dear friend of mine has struggled for more than 20 years in a terrible marriage. When they were married, neither he, nor his wife, was a Christian.
Now, he is a man of faith; she is not. He desires to serve the Lord; she’d rather do anything else. He lives for Christ; she rejects Christ.
Sadly, they could not be more unequally yoked. They’re forever pulling toward opposite ambitions, and both have the deep emotional bruises to prove it.
I recently asked my friend the obvious question: “Why do you suppose your prayers for your marriage go unanswered?”
My friend replied thoughtfully: “I really don’t know. But there’s no way I would have the kind of relationship with God that I have today if my life had been easier, if God had given me everything I’d ever asked for.”
Such is the power and blessing of “no.”
Christian friends, there is a depth of friendship with God that only grows in the soil of struggle. Communion with God is freely given by grace through faith in Christ, but it grows deeper and wider as our will is submitted more and more to the will of the one who made us.
Consider the words of Christ himself in the Garden of Gethsemane, cried out in the shadow of Calvary’s cross: “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will but as You will.” (Matthew 26:39 – NKJV)
Our God is not some cosmic Claus who exists to heed our every whim. In our heads we agree to this, but don’t our prayers sometimes betray other motives?
In fact, the Scriptures tell us this simple truth: You and I exist for God’s pleasure and glory.
Paul told the Romans: “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever.” (Romans 11:36 – NASB)
The Apostle John recorded a vision of heaven in the book of Revelation. In the vision, John sees into the future and hears the redeemed singing to God, “You are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things, and by Your will they exist and were created.” (Revelation 4:11 – NKJV)
Prayer is an astounding privilege. The creator and sustainer of the universe actually invites us to call out to him with our deepest desires.
The goal of prayer, though, is not so much filling a wish list, but fellowship with God that leads to the melting of our will into his. In other words, prayer’s aim is not just getting our desires from heaven, but getting God’s will accomplished in our lives here on earth.
My friend who is unhappily married reminds me a bit of Job. That ancient man of faith lost everything that a person would hold valuable from a human perspective.
Job lost his family, his wealth, his health – yet still he praised God:
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised. (Job 1:21 – NIV)
How do you handle a “no” from God?
Be assured that through the fog of life’s disappointments, there is a sovereign God at work, carrying out his plans and purposes – some of which remain a painful mystery to us.
Our part is to bring glory to him even when the answer to our prayers is “no.”
The same God who sometimes says “no” also sustains us, strengthens us and draws us ever closer to him.
When God says “no,” he also proves that true friendship with him really is enough.