Annie’s Mailbox: Father-daughter bond suspicious

Dear Annie: I’m a 22-year-old female and have been married to “Steve” for seven years. I feel extremely close to his family, and we discuss all problems openly.

Steve’s mom divorced after 22 years of marriage and recently moved in with her high school sweetheart, “Clyde.” Clyde can sometimes be a pain in the neck. He is rude, a loudmouth and acts like he’s too good to talk to anyone.

What bothers me is that Clyde has gotten a little too chummy with Steve’s 19-year-old sister, “Monica.” He takes Monica everywhere, and when she’s out of his sight, he goes looking for her. Monica seems to like the attention she gets from Clyde, and she’s often unhappy unless Clyde is nearby.

Monica won’t date anyone and rarely goes out with her friends. All she wants to do is spend time with this man. It’s reached the point where my mother-in-law questions the relationship between Clyde and Monica, and so do I.

The problem is, I don’t know how to get through to my husband. He thinks his sister is only looking for a father figure. Everyone else in the family thinks Clyde and Monica may have more than a father-daughter relationship going on.

Annie, please help me get someone to take action. – Searching for Answers

Dear Searching: We agree that Clyde’s closeness to Monica seems highly inappropriate. However, your mother-in-law is the one who needs to talk to her boyfriend and find out what’s going on – and then decide how to handle it. It’s her relationship that is going to be most affected. Once she determines what she wants to do, we hope you can step back and respect her decision, even if you disagree with it.

Dear Annie: I am a short, female college student and will be entering my senior year in the fall. I am studying criminal justice and plan to join the local police department upon my completion of college.

My problem is what happens when I tell people my anticipated job field. A common response (from men in particular) is, “But you’re a girl.” I have also had people tell me I am not mean enough, tough enough, strong enough, tall enough, etc., and most of these comments come from people I barely know.

I understand some of these are backhanded compliments, but I find such comments insulting. Is there a way to stifle these remarks without giving my complete life story to explain why I chose this field? – Irritated at Being Pre-Judged

Dear Irritated: Sure. Smile stiffly and say, “Thanks for your opinion. I’ll keep it in mind.” With all the female officers in today’s police force, we’re amazed anyone finds it unusual, or worse, tries to discourage you.